The Big Yellow Bus and Other Silly Adventures!
by The Girly Man
Summary: What happens when you take most of the brains out of our favorite Fruits Basket characters? Why, The Big Yellow Bus and Other Silly Adventures, of course!
1. The Big Yellow Bus

**Warning: I am very strange. I'm not sure if my head was on my body all the way when I wrote this. I got this idea from a dream. A very strange dream. **

**You read the summary. You clicked on the link. Now it is time to read the masterpiece.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the names, but I slightly own these characters because of how out-of-character they are. I own all of these plots. I wrote them all by myself. **

**I do have to thank Justina (like always!) and one of my other friends Hajar…Hajar insisted on reading it even though she doesn't know what Fruits Basket is. She did not understand it at all! But she said it was funny. Oh well. Thanks, Hajar and Justina! I also thank Thea, my sister, for telling me that she would rather read a story called 'The Big Yellow Bus' then 'The Baseball Bat' (which was the first episode I wrote, but the second one I'm posting). Thanks, Tee.**

**Here you go. Bask in it's glory.**

**Episode One: The Big Yellow Bus**

"Yuki… what's a school bus?" Tohru asked Yuki one morning.

"It's a big yellow bus that takes people to school," Yuki answered as he washed his face.

"People? Even if they don't go to the school?"

"Sometimes."

"Where would I find one of these… _School Buses?_"

"They drive around just like normal cars and trucks."

"Oh Yuki! Can we go see one? PLEASE!" Tohru begged.

"Sure!" Yuki answered. "We should probably invite Kyo to come, though. I heard he's a real bus fanatic. He's been obsessed since 5th grade!"

"Okay," Tohru agreed. The two left Yuki's room and went next door to Kyo's.

"Kyo?" Yuki asked, knocking on the door to Kyo's room. When there was no answer, they let themselves in.

Tohru had never been in Kyo's room before. Every single inch of the walls were covered in posters of school buses, the shelves were loaded with figurines of school buses… even his bed spread had a bus theme!

"Wow… he really _is_ a bus fanatic!" Tohru exclaimed loudly.

"WHO DARE ENTERS THE ROOM OF THE BUS KING?" Kyo boomed loudly from behind his bed. He emerged slowly.

"Kyo, we're going school bus hunting today and we wanted to know if you would come with," Yuki explained.

A wide smile spread across Kyo's face, "Ahh… the School Bus. He's a tricky one to view. Even harder to catch."

"You've caught one?" Tohru asked in awe.

"NO! DON'T BRING IT UP! I'VE TRIED… BUT I FAILED! But… I shall come with you today."

"Yuki… do you think we could catch a school bus for Yuki?" Tohru whispered to Yuki.

"We have to try… but they're pretty big," Yuki sighed.

"OKAY!" Kyo yelled, pulling a bag out from under his bed. He pulled a map out of the bag and Yuki and Tohru looked at it in interest. Kyo pointed to a red spot in the middle of the map. "That's the School Bus lair. If we go there, we might be able to see one. But… they might get angry. That's why we have to wear these."

Kyo pulled out three hats from the bag and put one on each of their heads. The hats were bright yellow and said 'Bus Driver' on them.

"Why do we need to wear these?" Tohru asked.

"Because if we don't the buses might think we're _students_. They hate students. They only respect bus drivers."

"Why do they hate students?" Yuki wondered.

"Students… students make them dirty! They draw on the seats… they eat food on them! Now that's just rude!" Kyo exclaimed.

Kyo led Tohru and Yuki through the proper preparations, and in no time, they were off. They roamed the streets quietly, with their nets in hand and their hats that said 'Bus Driver'. Kyo led them to the bus lair, which took almost all day to get to. The buses were very sleepy by then.

"We have to be very quiet," Kyo whispered.

"OKAY!" Tohru yelled.

"No…!" Kyo tried to hush her up, but it was too late. Multiple alarms went off, and Kyo began to cry.

"What are you doing here?" A loud, mechanical voice came from nowhere. Tohru was certain it was the Mother Bus.

"We… we're sorry! Don't hurt us! We just came to catch a School Bus!"

"Catch a School Bus? You can't do that! This is private property. Go home, kids."

"Uh… okay," Yuki replied.

Kyo was crying so hard that they hard to drag him home.

"We're sorry, Kyo. We couldn't catch one for you," Yuki said.

"At least we got to see one, right?" Tohru tried to cheer him up.

"I… I guess," Kyo sniffled as he entered his bus-filled room.

"Don't feel bad Kyo! There's always next week!" Yuki smiled.

"I guess so… but I'm still the Bus King."

And he was.

**Strange? Yes. Disturbing? Slightly. Something worth reviewing? OF COURSE!**

**While you wait for the next episode, why not check out my other stories?**

**Until next time!**

**Brenna**

**+The Girly Man+**

**Episode Two: The Baseball Bat**

**Don't miss it!**


	2. The Baseball Bat

**Well… this story isn't very popular, is it! Hehe! 17 hits and only one review… oh well! At least I got one! I just posted the first chapter Monday though… Maybe that's why!**

**Even if nobody reviews, I will still post this because it makes me happy!**

**Thank you, ****flute4ever330****! (I play the flute too!)**

**Here you go, even if you don't read it (tee-hee!)**

**I ain't the owner of Fruits Basket. Duh: )**

**Episode Two: The Baseball Bat**

"Hey… why is that man sitting on the ground with a big stick in his hand?" Tohru asked Yuki and Kyo as they saw a man sitting on the ground with a big stick in his hand on their way home from school.

"That's not a _man,_ that's Hatori!" Yuki exclaimed. "Let's go ask him why he has a big stick in his hand!"

The three friends ran up to Hatori excitedly.

"Yo Hatori! Why you got a big stick in yo hand?" Kyo asked.

"It's not a big stick… it's a baseball bat!"

"A WHA!" The three asked, tilting their heads simultaneously.

"A baseball bat! You use it to play baseball!"

"Oh!" the three said, relieved.

"We thought you were going to beat us with it in an angry gesture!" Tohru confessed.

"You know… I remember playing baseball when I was little," Yuki admitted.

"Look at this bat! She's a beaut! Look at the fine, fake plastic… the purple and orange color! I bet I could win a game no-sweat with this baby!" Hatori decided.

"You're on!" Kyo said, pulling a _real_ baseball bat out of his backpack.

The four walked to the empty field in the nearby park. For bases, they used their backpacks, and for a pitcher's mound they used all of their coats piled on top of each other. Since they didn't have enough players, Hatori and Kyo switched off from hitting and third base, Yuki played pitcher, and Tohru played 1st, 2nd, and outfield.

Hatori was up to bat at Yuki's backpack. Yuki stepped onto the pile of coats and sunk down a little. Then he realized something.

"You guys… I don't have a baseball!" he announced.

"There are a few rocks in my backpack," Kyo suggested, kicking third base.

"And I have a hard-boiled egg in my briefcase," Hatori replied, pointing to second base.

"Here, use this potato I found on the ground!" Tohru yelled, handing Yuki the potato.

"Okay," Yuki got ready for the pitch. He threw it gently to Hatori, who swung and missed.

"STRIKE ONE!" Kyo shouted.

Yuki retrieved the potato and set up for another pitch. He tossed it gently to Hatori, who managed to bunt it. Yuki picked up the potato and was about to throw it to Tohru at first base, but noticed that Hatori wasn't running. He was just standing there.

"You have to run," Yuki told him, tagging him with the potato.

"STRIKE TWO!" Kyo hollered.

Yuki pitched again. Hatori bunted it and began to run. Yuki picked up the potato, but noticed when he was going to throw it to Tohru that Ha'ri was running the _wrong way_.

"You're going the wrong way!" Yuki and Kyo yelled. When he heard this, Hatori broke down and cried. He fell to the ground.

"Hatori… what's wrong?" Tohru asked, running over to them.

"I thought that the magnificent baseball bat would help me play better, but I still don't know how to play baseball!"

"I have a confession," Kyo confessed. "I don't know how to play baseball either. I was just carrying around that bat to look cool."

"I also have a confession," Tohru began. "That isn't really a potato."

She pointed to what Yuki was holding.

"Then what is it?" Yuki asked.

"…You don't want to know."

"Well, I don't have anything to confess, so let's just go home," Yuki decided.

"Okay," Hatori agreed.

"Not you," Kyo told Hatori. "You don't live with us."

"Oh poo," Hatori said, swinging his arm.

The three collected their backpacks and Hatori his briefcase, then got their coats, which were all muddy because Yuki had stepped on them.

They left the magnificent bat on the field, hoping some individual who actually knew how to play baseball might find it.

**

* * *

That one is my personal favorite out of the three I've written. Too bad I hate baseball!**

**Next time:**

**Episode Three: The TV Remote**

**Maybe by then this'll be more popular!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Brenna**

**+The Girly Man+**


	3. The TV Remote

**Ooo… Now I have more hits! WHOOT! HAHA!**

**Thanks to flute4ever330 and Cows-roc-my-world. It makes me so happy when I sign into my e-mail and have reviews!**

**Disclaimer +**

**Episode Three: The TV Remote**

It was lost.

Where it was, he did not know.

Yuki pulled back the couch cushions for what seemed like the millionth time. How could something so important be lost?

Sadly, he gave up. He walked up to the set and pushed the power button, then went back to the couch and sat down.

He did not want to watch this channel.

Once again, he stood up and walked over to the set. He pressed the 'next' button and went back to the couch.

He did not want to watch this channel either.

This pattern continued for several minutes until Yuki was finally fed up with it. He tore the room apart, desperately seeking what could not be found. When he stopped for a breath, the cushions of the couch were thrown all around the room, furniture was turned over, and he had found 50 cents.

It was nowhere to be found.

"Arg!" Yuki shouted, pretending to be a pirate.

_If I were a remote, where would I hide?_

Yuki lay on the ground, pretending to be a remote control. It was very boring and his back started to hurt, so he stood up again in revelation.

_I know why the remote is lost!_ He thought, _It must have gotten bored and ran away!_

Yuki picked up the telephone to call the police and file a 'missing' report, but Kyo entered the room.

"What are you doing?" Kyo asked, eyeing the messy room.

"The remote's missing. I'm calling the police."

"Don't call them!" Kyo hissed. "Shigure just had it this morning."

"I even pretended to be a remote and I still couldn't find it!"

"Did you call for it?"

"Huh?"

"Did you call for it? Here, let me demonstrate."

Kyo cleared his throat.

"REMOTE! I MISS YOU! I LOVE YOU! WHERE DID YOU GO? COME HOME!" he screamed.

"No, I didn't try that!" Yuki admitted. "What a great idea!"

The two boys spent the next ten minutes yelling for the remote to come back.

"What are you two doing?" Shigure Sohma asked, coming out of his room. "I'm trying to write a novel here and you guys are hollering!"

"Sorry, Shigure. The remote's lost and we can't find it," Kyo explained.

"Did you pretend to be a remote?"

"Yes."

"Did you yell for it to come back?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm out of suggestions. You could try baiting it with food? Or just buy a new one?"

"But I don't want a new one! I miss the old one! How can you replace a friend so fast?" Yuki whined.

"Well… I guess you're right. Let's look for it again."

The three of them ripped the room apart even more, but the remote remained lost.

"It's hopeless!" Yuki decided, flopping down on the floor. "Why would he run away like that?"

"Don't give up hope yet, Yuki!" Kyo exclaimed. "He could still be here somewhere!"

"Or maybe he _did_ run away…" Shigure put in.

"We just have to… retrace our steps! Now, who had the remote this morning?" Kyo asked.

"Miss Honda was cleaning in here earlier," Yuki remembered.

"But then _I_ had it to change the batteries!" Shigure announced.

"What did you do with it after that?" Kyo wondered.

"I… well… I gave it to Yuki!"

Shigure and Kyo turned to stare at Yuki.

"I… I put it in my pocket. Then I couldn't find it!" Yuki admitted.

Kyo reached into Yuki's pocket and there it was.

The remote was no longer missing.

It was a shiny, plastic black, with no fingerprints or scratches whatsoever. All of the buttons were silver except for the power button, which was red. The buttons glowed in the dark.

"HOORAY!" the three of them cheered/

After cleaning up the living room, Kyo left, Shigure wrote a novel, and Yuki watched TV.

There was nothing good on TV.

Yuki put the remote in his pocket.

"Where did the remote go?" he wondered, then began to tear the room apart looking for it.

**Hooray! That was fun!**

**Thanks for reading… if you did… hehe!**

**Reviews are nice.**

**Episode Four: The Leftovers**

**Don't miss it!**

**Brenna**

**+The Girly Man+**


	4. The Leftovers

**Hello again! I'm back for episode four!**

**Thank you to Cows-roc-my-world and Machi Kuragi! **

**Disclai-ma ETC.!**

**Episode Four: The Leftovers**

"What is… _was_ it?"

"I don't remember."

"How long has it been there?"

"I don't know."

Yuki pulled out the Tupperware cautiously and examined it from the bottom, afraid to open it.

"Are you going to open it?" Kyo asked as Shigure turned it over a few times and shook it.

"I don't know… is it safe?" Yuki wondered.

"I'm not sure. Look at the color," Shigure said.

The contents of the Tupperware were, indeed, a very strange color. It was a mixture of green, white, and grey. Just looking at it made them want to barf. It looked moldy and gooey, and none of them knew what it had been originally.

Kyo took a spoon out of the drawer and pried the top off. Immediately, a horrid smell filled the entire room.

"AAHHH!" The cousins screamed, backing away from it quickly. It fell from the countertop onto the group and began to leak out onto the floor.

"IT'S ATTACKING!" Shigure screamed.

"Quick, find things to destroy it with!" Yuki declared, and Kyo left the room. He entered again a few seconds later with an umbrella, a baseball bat, a cup of tea, and a shoe.

Kyo quickly threw the cup of tea on the monster, but that only made it spread farther.

Yuki grabbed the shoe and threw it at it. This caused the smelly monster to splash farther across the kitchen and grow.

Shigure began to hit it with the baseball bat, but the odd-colored fiend was unstoppable.

"AHHH! HELP ME!" Shigure yelled.

He was being sucked into the goop.

"Quick, pour some water onto it!" Kyo yelled at Yuki. Yuki obeyed, but it just had the same affect as the tea had previously.

Yuki's foot got caught in the goop. He tried to pull away, but he was stuck!

"KYO! I'M STUCK TOO!" he gasped. The goop was now up to his knees.

Kyo swore at the monster, but that just made it angry and offended. Yuki was up to his belt.

"What's going on, Kyo?" Tohru asked, entering the room.

"A monster!" Kyo yelled, as if that explained everything.

"Oh no! What should we do?" Tohru gasped.

"Let's throw things at it!" Kyo declared.

The two threw everything they could at the monster. By the time there was nothing left to throw, Yuki was up to his chin, Kyo was getting sick of it, Shigure was gone, and the monster was the size of the kitchen and dining room combined.

"Kyo, I don't think this is working," Tohru noticed.

"What should we do, Tohru? We're going to be swallowed too!" Kyo whined.

"Don't give up hope yet! There has to be a… I've got it!" Tohru exclaimed.

Swiftly, she opened the over door and the two shoved the goo inside the oven. Yuki popped out of the goo, gasping for air.

Once all of it was inside, Tohru shut the over door and set the temperature and time.

The three stood in the kitchen in silence. Yuki dried himself off and was almost clean when Tohru opened the oven door again and took out a small, green, rectangular, cake-like object. She put it on a plate and set it on the counter.

Kyo reached forward and took a piece. He shoved it in his mouth and chewed for a long time. Then he smiled at Tohru and Yuki and gave them a thumbs-up.

Tohru took a piece for herself and gave one to Yuki. After sniffing it, they also shoved it in their mouths and chewed for a long time. It tasted pleasantly of Carmel and flowers.

"Good," Kyo said, taking another piece.

Yuki was on his third piece when he tasted something strange. He reached into his mouth with his fingers and pulled out a strand of black hair.

"You guys… where's Shigure?" he asked.

Tohru looked down at her cake piece and Kyo rubbed his stomach.

"Oops."

"Woof!" said the cake.

**I love fiction. It means that anything can happen. Thank God this can't.**

**I love you for reading.**

**Brenna**

**+The Girly Man+**

**Episode Five: The Musical Song**

**Don't Miss It!**


	5. The Musical Song

**The Musical Song. **

**Beware: This whole story RHYMES!**

**It took me very long, and some of the rhymes… well only one that I can think of right now… don't really make a lot of sense… tee-hee.**

**Here's my disclaimer, my word of reminder that I don't own Fruits Basket, so please don't sue me lala (To the tune of 'Disclaimer' by The Pettit Project. You guys probably don't know them, huh?).**

**Episode Five: The Musical Song**

**-**

It was almost midnight as Tohru lay awake

Hearing a noise from a distance away

At first she didn't know if the sounds were fake

So she opened her door and walked down the hallway.

At last she found the source of the noise

It was coming from a room: one of the boys'

Was is Shigure singing or Yuki's ploys

Or orange-haired Kyo with one of his toys?

In front of a door, she came to a halt

Trying to hear what the commotion was about

It was coming from Kyo's room, she had no doubt,

So she entered the room as quietly as a mouse.

When she entered the room she was engulfed in the sound

Of a wonderful melody coming from a strange mound.

Hesitantly, she looked around

And sooner then not, it was Kyo she found.

"Hello, Tohru," he said with glee

"Would you like to listen to my new CD?"

"CD?" she asked, "What might that be?"

"Come over here and you shall see!"

Kyo showed Tohru to a large contraption,

Pressed a button and shouted 'Action!'

The machine made a noise, and to their satisfaction,

A new song played in a second fraction.

"This is great!" Tohru exclaimed

"Is there a limit to how many songs it can play?"

"You insert these discs," Kyo explained

"And each disc can play a few different things."

Tohru and Kyo began to dance,

Stuck in the music as if in a trance.

Tohru wanted to tell all her uncles and aunts

Of this machine that costs less then a new pair of pants!

Tohru left the room, as tired as can be

Wanting to buy more of these so-called 'CDs'

The lesson in this is that technology

May be complex, but still makes you happy!

-

**Yes, yes, cheesy. But I like it! I thought it was quite silly. What did you think of it?**

**I wuv reviews!**

**Thank you for reading!**

**Brenna**

**+The Girly Man+**

**Don't miss:**

**Episode Six: The Trophy**

**HOORAH!**


	6. The Trophy

**Hehe… this story is becoming more popular! Hooray! **

**I don't know if anyone else noticed, but this sort of makes me upset. The Fruits Basket section is at its 8,000 story, plus more. I REALLY wanted to be the 8,000 story, but I haven't finished the one I was planning on posting soon. Cry… cry…**

**Oh well. I could always be the 10,000! All's well that ends well. Wait… what does that mean?**

**Anyway, here's Episode Six. This is the longest one so far, and possibly my favorite!**

**Episode Six: The Trophy**

"AAHHH! WHAT IS THAT?"

Yuki looked up from his reading to a terrified Tohru. She was sweating and pointing to the large bee on his dresser.

"It's not a real bee, Tohru-san! That's just a trophy," he told her, chuckling.

"A… torphoy?"

"No! _Trophy!_"

The trophy was golden and indeed shaped like a bumblebee, only it was about ten time bigger then regular size. At the bottom it said 'Yuki Sohma'.

"What does it do?" Tohru wondered.

"Nothing, really."

"Then why do you have it?"

"Decoration, I guess."

"But it doesn't match the rest of your room."

"Oh well."

"Where'd you get it?"

"I got it in 5th grade when I won the spelling bee."

"Can I have it?"

"No! I worked really hard for it," Yuki exclaimed, picking it up and stroking it tenderly.

"Then… I'll race you for it!" Tohru decided.

"That seems fair," nodded Yuki, standing up.

Tohru and Yuki went outside, and Yuki placed the trophy on a tree stump. They both backed up several feet.

"On your mark… get set…" Yuki counted, but Tohru began to run to the trophy before he had finished counting.

"Hey! No head starts!" he called.

"Oh. Sorry," Tohru came back.

"Okay. Ready… set…"

Tohru began running.

"Hey! I didn't say 'go' yet!" Yuki noticed.

"Oh. Sorry," Tohru said again, walking back to the starting point.

"3…2…"

Tohru started running.

"Hey! Come back!" he yelled.

"You know, I don't think this race thing is working," Tohru decided.

"Yeah," Yuki agreed. He walked over to the trophy and picked it up.

His face lit up with an idea.

"I have an idea!" he shouted, pumping his fist in the air.

"WHAT?" Tohru screamed, just as excited.

"How about we spell things for it!"

"Okay! Let's have Kyo be the judge!"

The two ran inside and found Kyo. "Kyo! We're having a Spelling Bee! Will you be the judge?" Yuki begged.

"Sure!" Kyo exclaimed.

The three walked to the living room and set up chairs game-show style.

"Okay, here are the rules," Kyo sat down in front of them. "I say a word, and whoever knows how to spell it can yell 'Mine!' or 'I got it!' like in a volleyball game. Whoever gets the best 6 out of 10 wins!

"First word: Teeth!"

"Mine!" Tohru yelled, hitting the table with her fist. "T-E-T-H-E!"

"Hooray! One for Tohru and none for Yuki!

"Next word: Bananas!"

"Ooo! Ooo!" Yuki pounded his fists. "Gwen Stefani taught me how to spell this! Uh… B…A… N-A-N-A-S!"

"Correct! One all!

"Next word: Aquarium!"

Nobody answered.

"That's too hard. How about… foot?" Kyo suggested.

"ME!" Yuki exclaimed. The look on his face suggested he was under great strain. "K-Y-O!"

"Okay! 2 to 1! Spell… Kyo!"

"F-O-O-T! F-O-O-T! _F-O-O-T!_" Tohru yelled, flinging spit everywhere.

"Yes! 2 to 2! The next word is… Folder!"

"I got it!" Yuki called. "F-O-L-D-E-R."

"Sorry, it's actually F-O-L-D-_A­-R. _Tohru gets the point!

"3 to 2. The next word is…_Mustard._"

"Ah!" Tohru declared. "M-U-S-T-A-R-D."

"One more letter…" Kyo whispered.

"Q!"

"Yay! 4 to 2! Has it been 10 words yet?"

"No, we have three more," Yuki answered.

"In that case… three!"

"3! The number 3! _NUMERO TRES!_" Yuki almost passed out from yelling in Spanish so loudly.

"Correct! 4 to 3! Last word: T.V."

Tohru bit her lip hard in thought. Yuki was pouring sweat.

"T-E-E-V-E-E!" Yuki cried, and Tohru gasped.

"Correct! Bye," Kyo said, standing up.

"Wait, Kyo! What do we do now? It was a tie," Tohru asked.

"I don't know. Bye," he replied, and ran down the hallway at top-speed.

"So, who gets the torphoy?" Tohru asked, picking it up.

"Well, it _does_ say Yuki Sohma on it, so _you_ should have it," Yuki explained.

"You're right," Tohru agreed.

"Wait! I have an idea!" Yuki decided. He took the trophy from her and slammed it onto the hard, wooden floor. It broke into thousands of tiny pieces.

"Why'd you do that?"

"I gave it to the floor. Don't you think he deserves it? I mean, all we do is step on him."

"Yeah! You're right!"

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

**-**

**Let us all take the time to thank our floor. I mean, without it, what would we stand on?**

**Thank you, Floor.**

**And thank _you_ for reading!**

**I love reviews!**

**Brenna**

**+The Girly Man+**

**Episode Seven: The Picture Frame**

**Don't miss it!**


	7. The Picture Frame

**Back again after a quite a long hiatus! **

**Thank you to my reviewers! You are all quite wonderful! I wuv you! (hugs)**

**Episode Seven: The Picture Frame**

"Look, Tohru! A camera!"

Yuki pointed to the camera on the kitchen counter. Tohru stared in awe.

"Let's take a picture!" she exclaimed.

"Hey, what are you youngsters doing?" Shigure giggled, entering the room.

"We're staring at that camera!" answered Yuki.

"I have an idea… why don't we take a few pictures?"

"Okay! I'll get Kyo!" Tohru told them, and she did.

"What's all the commotion about?" Kyo asked. He had just woken up from a quick nap.

"We're taking pictures!" screamed Shigure.

"Ooo! Ooo! Let me take one!" Kyo exclaimed, taking the camera. He took a picture of his foot.

"Bye," he said, and began to walk away.

"No! We have to take pictures of everyone!" Yuki exclaimed, shoving the camera back into his hands.

"Okay! Everybody smile!" Kyo said as Yuki, Tohru, and Shigure crowded together. Yuki and Tohru smiled but instead, Shigure made a silly monkey face. The camera clicked, and in a flash of light, Kyo had taken a picture.

"Shigure! Why did you make such a silly monkey face? Let's take a serious picture now," Kyo suggested, winding up the disposable photo-taker for a second shot.

"Okay," Tohru agreed.

The flash went off and Yuki and Tohru were smiling, but Shigure was making a silly monkey face. The camera clicked.

"Come on, Shigure," Yuki whined. "Take a serious picture!"

This time, Yuki and Tohru were smiling, but Shigure's face held no emotion.

"Shigure!" Tohru screeched.

"What? You told me to be serious," Shii-chan pointed out.

Yuki shrugged, "True."

"I have an idea. Let's _all_ make silly faces!" Shigure said.

"Okay!" Tohru agreed, and while she and Yuki made silly faces, Shigure smiled a pleasant smile.

"Shigure, how come you didn't make a silly face?" questioned Yuki.

"I didn't feel like it."

"There are no more pictures," Kyo noticed, because he had accidentally wasted the last one on the ceiling.

"How about we go get them developed at the nearest Pharmacy-slash-Photo Center?" Yuki suggested, not wanting to get kicked off of the site for promoting Wal—uh, his favorite Pharmacy-slash-Photo Center.

"Great idea!" Tohru exclaimed, and the four friends walked down the street to their favorite Pharmacy-slash-Photo Center.

"Welcome to Wal—uh, the Pharmacy-slash-Photo Center," the guy behind the counter greeted them without getting kicked off of the site as they walked through the automatic door. "How may I help you?"

"Listen here"—Kyo read the man's name plate "—Tom! You're going to develop these pictures or I'm going to sue you _and_ your mom!"

"Calm down, sir. I'll develop these pictures for you," Tom smiled.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT CZECHOSLOVAKIA?"

"Um… I didn't say anything about Czechoslovakia…"

"ARE YOU GOING TO DEVELOP THESE PICTURES OR NOT?"

"Umm… yes. It'll take about one hour," Tom informed them.

"Okay. We'll wait here for an hour, then!" Tohru exclaimed, and the four friends plastered a smile on their beautiful faces.

"You don't have to wait right there… you can go do other things…"

"Nonsense! It's no trouble at all, my boy!" Shigure laughed.

The four stood there for a complete hour, their smiles never fading. Tom was shocked to see them in the exact same positions they were in when he had left the counter an hour ago.

"THANK YOU!" Tohru shouted as Tom handed Kyo the envelope. Tohru kissed his hand multiple times and threw some money at him.

"What do we do now?" Yuki asked, turning away from the desk.

"Let's look at them!" Shigure cried.

The first ten pictures were just black. "What's it a picture of?" Tohru asked.

"My pocket," Shigure beamed with pride. "Isn't it pretty?"

"Yeah…" she breathed.

They came to the picture of Kyo's foot. Kyo giggled in delight and shoved it in his pocket. They came to the pictures with Shigure's silly monkey face. "That's a silly monkey face," Yuki decided. They all agreed.

"I like this picture," Shigure pointed to the picture where his face held no emotion. "It makes me look tough."

"You can have it," Kyo gave it to him. Shigure squealed.

"Don't we look ridiculous?" Tohru pointed to the picture where she and Yuki were making silly faces.

The three boys stared at her in shock. "You said… _a bad word_," Yuki breathed.

"Ack!" Tohru screamed, rubbing her tongue on her sweaty palm to try and get the bad word off.

"Why don't we buy a picture frame?" Shigure suggested.

"WHAT'S THAT?" Kyo screamed, throwing all of the pictures all over the place in fear.

"It's a bunch of sticks taped together to make a square around a picture," Yuki answered, picking up a picture of Shigure's pocket and stroking it with love and care.

"Here, let me show you!" Shigure smiled, and the four skipped around the Pharmacy-slash-Photo Center to the picture frame aisle.

"Pick this one!" Tohru yelled, pointing to a hideous floral frame.

"No! This!" Yuki exclaimed, holding up a frame with dog bones around it, personalized with the name "Sparky".

"Yeah!" Shigure hollered. "Touchdown!"

They bought the picture frame and merrily skipped home, where (after a long, heated discussion containing the word _ridiculous_) they placed the fifth picture of Shigure's pocket on the mantle.

In the dead of that night, a figure snuck into the living room, wearing all black. Silently, he stole the picture out of its frame and switched it with the one in his pocket.

Now his beautiful foot would grace the mantle forever.

**-**

**Questions? Comments? Presents? Leave me a note! I love reviewers almost as much as I love pocky! And I _LOVE_ Pocky!**

**I forced my sister to read all of the Silly Bus Adventures, and when she was done the first thing she said was 'I feel stupider after reading this'!**

**Thanks for clicking my link! **

**Brenna**

**+The Girly Man+**

**Episode Eight: The Make Up**

**Don't miss it!**


	8. The MakeUp

**Thank you to the reviewers! Y'all should read my other stories too… I have a few other chapter-lengths. Unless you like funny stuff only. The other ones are kinda like Drama/Humor. **

**WHEE! YAY!**

**Episode Eight: The Make-Up**

"So what does it do?"

"It makes me look pretty!"

"Does it taste good?"

"Sometimes."

Kyo picked up the small glass container and smelled it. He brushed his finger across the top and licked it.

"Gross! That tastes icky!" Kyo exclaimed, placing the eye shadow back on Tohru's vanity.

"Okay," Tohru didn't seem to notice.

"I want to look pretty," Kyo admitted.

"Okay! I'll put make-up on you then," Tohru told him.

Tohru was not a very good make-up artist on anyone but herself, so in the end, Kyo ended up looking like a silly clown.

"Am I pretty yet?" Kyo asked, stroking his blotchy chin and looking into the mirror.

"Yes, you are very pretty," Tohru lied. She felt bad for lying, but she also didn't want to hurt Kyo-kun's feelings. He _did_ look _somewhat_ pretty.

"Hey, what are we doing?" Yuki asked, popping into Tohru's room.

"HAY IS FOR HORSES! HORSES! WHINNY WHINNY WHINNY!" Kyo exclaimed.

"We're making Kyo look pretty!" Tohru squeaked, holding up some lip gloss.

"Really? Can I try?" Yuki asked. Because of his natural ability to already look very feminine, perhaps he would've looked rather nice in make-up. But he was very insecure. He didn't want to put make-up on himself; he wanted to put make-up on _Kyo._

"Okay," Kyo agreed, handing him a brown eye-liner pencil.

Very carefully, Yuki drew a perfectly straight line where it was supposed to go on Kyo's eyelid. Yuki felt something special burst inside of him.

"Maybe I'm meant to be a cosmetologist," he thought, but accidentally said it out loud.

"What's a cosmetologist?" Tohru asked as Kyo rubbed his eye, ruining Yuki's perfect line.

"The same thing as an astronaut," Kyo explained.

"Well what does that have to do with make-up?" Tohru demanded.

"It's not an astronaut. It's a person who does other people's hair and make-up," Yuki explained, slightly offended.

"Wow! Are you a camelmotologist, Yuki? Can you do my hair?" Tohru asked him.

Yuki didn't have time to tell her that a camelmotologist is somebody who studies camelmo, because at that moment Kyo shoved a pair of safety scissors at him and demanded a hair cut.

Pleased that his friends came to him with such important requests, Yuki gladly accepted. He began to cut Kyo's oily orange hair right there in Tohru's bedroom.

"My turn!" Tohru decided randomly, and pried the safety scissors out of Yuki's hands. Yuki sighed and thought an expression to himself like an old man:

_It was fun while it lasted._

As Tohru chopped away half of Kyo's hair, a tube of mauve lipstick on Tohru's dresser caught Yuki's eye. Ever so surreptitiously, to avoid the attention of the other two room occupants, he opened the tube of mauve and spread it across his lips. Staring at himself in the mirror, he noticed how well the mauve went with his hair.

_Maybe I should wear make-up more—_

"Yuki's wearing lipstick!" Kyo cried, pointing his index finger at Yuki's pretty mouth.

Yuki didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by commenting on the mess covering Kyo's face and that fact that Tohru had cut off almost all of the hair on the left side of Kyo's head, so he instead said nothing and wiped the pretty mauve off, slightly embarrassed.

"All done!" Tohru told Kyo, and Kyo looked in the mirror.

Indeed, half of his hair was gone.

"I don't know… does it make me look too gangsta?" Kyo wondered.

"No! You look like a pretty princess!" Tohru assured him.

"And if you don't like your hair, it'll always grow back tomorrow," Yuki pointed out.

"Okay," Kyo agreed, and the three friends spent the rest of the night standing there smiling at each other.

-

**Whee! That was short. Thanks for reading though.**

**Hey… you got time. How about a review? Eh? EH?**

**See you next time!**

**Brenna**

**+The Girly Man+**

**I just noticed… why doesn't FFN let us use those squigglies above the tab key or asterisks? My siggy has squigglies and asterisks. BUMMER!**

**Episode Nine: The Clothes Store**

**Whoa… we're on Nine already? DUDE!**


	9. The Clothes Store

**Parents aren't home… Hawthorne Heights blaring loudly… eating chocolate cookies… finished homework… played darts for three hours straight… feeling crazy…**

**I think it's time for a Silly Bus Adventure, don't you?**

**BANZAI (HOORAY)!**

**Episode Nine: The Clothes Store**

"CHEESE!"

"Oh, hello Ayame!" Tohru greeted the pompous older brother half chicken half closet door half make believe ostrich omelet as he haphazardly burst through the sliding paper door that took quite a long time to fix because it had been broken oh so many times.

"Ah! How is our favorite pompous older brother half chicken half closet door half make believe ostrich omelet?" Kyo smiled like a foo, which was strange because he normally doesn't.

"I'm," Ayame answered, but forgot to finish his sentence.

"That's great," Yuki smiled like a foo, which was strange because he normally doesn't.

"Quick!" Ayame squealed randomly.

"Ah! A burger monster?" Tohru guessed randomly,

"Let's go to the park," Yuki decided randomly.

"Okay," his pompous older brother half chicken half closet door half make believe ostrich omelet answered. It was not random, because the five of them were sick of being random. "No! I don't want to go!" Ayame changed his mind.

"My underwear has a hole in it," Kyo noticed.

After about an hour, Ayame remembered what they had needed to be quick about.

"Momiji's waiting outside," he told them. "We're going to JCNickel's to buy some clothes. Wanna come?"

"Let's go to the park."

"Sure!" Kyo, Yuki, and Tohru accepted, and after about another hour, they remembered that they needed to go to JCNickel's to buy some clothes.

"CHEESE!" the fuzzy Momiji greeted the five as they climbed into Aya's make believe ostrich mobile. "That was quick!" Momiji decided, even though it had taken a little over two hours for Ayame to gather the teens.

"Hi," Kyo, Yuki, Tohru, and Aya replied. Shigure, Rin, Kureno, and Kagura didn't say anything because they weren't there.

After climbing into Aya's flying closet door mobile, they arrived at JCNickel's. Then they arrived at JCNickel's.

"WHEE!" Momiji cried, grabbing Tohru's hand as they walked into the store. "Isn't this fun?"

Tohru nodded enthusiastically and Ayame began to giggle. Kyo didn't say anything because he didn't know what to say and Yuki didn't say anything because he was too distracted by the door that opened whenever he stepped in front of it. Hatsuharu didn't say anything because he was stuck in the bathtub with no peanut butter.

Momiji and Tohru really wanted to go to the Petite Miss's department, so the five went together to avoid getting lost in the quite large store.

As Momiji, Tohru, and Ayame giggled and squealed at every skirt or shirt they saw, Kyo and Yuki stood in the aisle. Yuki nonchalantly leaned on a rack of half-off priced tank tops, and Kyo looked around. Sure, Kyo wanted to look for a new black shirt or pair of green pants in the guy's section, but something else caught his eye. It was a quite large section of the store, with a sign that he thought said 'laundry' above it. The section contained shirts that were quite small.

"Yuki… want to go over there?" Kyo pointed.

Yuki looked up at the section Kyo was pointing to. Because he had not been dropped on his head at birth as hard as Kyo had, he could tell that the sign said 'lingerie' and not 'laundry'. "That's girl clothes," Yuki told Kyo.

"Well… so is where we're standing."

"Okay then."

Yuki and Kyo wandered over to the lingerie section, not noticing the strange looks they were receiving from the other shoppers.

"I like this shirt," Kyo held up a black shirt that was much too large for him.

"That's not a shirt. That's a bra. Only girls wear those," Yuki replied.

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"How do you know they're only for girls?"

"I don't remember."

"Do you think Aya will buy it for me?"

"Probably."

Kyo held the bra up to his chest. Of course, it really would not fit him, but he _REALLY_ wanted it.

"Hey! What are you three doing?" Ayame asked Yuki and Kyo. It, Tohru, and Momiji were tired of shopping.

"Aya, will you buy this for Kyon?" Yuki gestured to Kyo, who still had the bra held up to his chest.

"Sure, Shigure," Ayame answered, his pompous older brother half chicken half closet door half make believe ostrich omelet-ness making him forget that _Kyo _was the one with the orange hair, not Shii-chan. "I've been needing a new one too."

"BANZAI!" Kyo cheered.

"Ayame… you wear a bra?" Tohru asked.

"On weekends in summer."

"Huh?"

"Doesn't everyone?"

"Well… yeah."

"Okay."

After purchasing the three bras, Yuki went home and so did everyone else. Kyo forgot about his holy underwear until he was about to leave the store. He didn't care though, because he had a bra and Yuki didn't.

**That was… I'm sorry. HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BANZAI!**

**That's my new favorite word. Banzai. **

**I'm sorry random people came out of nowhere. It made it funnier. : )**

**Panic! At the Disco is calling, I need to pluck my eyebrows, and YOU need to REVIEW! **

**Thanks for making this such a success! This story has the most reviews out of any!**

**Brenna **

**+The Girly Man+**

**Episode Ten: The Elfin Object (Starring Hatsuharu!)**

**Don't miss it! Believe me, you won't want to…**

**I think that's how you spell it. Like, relating to elves? Elvin? Elfin? What ev!**


	10. The Elfin Object

**Yet again another sick day, and yet again, watching Fruits Basket, eating food, and being CRAZAY!**

**Time for… A SILLY BUS ADVENTURE!**

**I looked up the words 'Elvin' and 'Elfin' on my computer's dictionary. 'Elvin' had no suggestions for synonyms, but 'Elfin' said 'Petite, fragile, etc'. So I'm gonna use Elfin! **

**Episode Ten: The Elfin Object (Starring Hatsuharu!)**

"Moo!"

"Moo, Hatsuharu!" Tohru greeted Haru-kun as he slammed through the paper door. They were all sitting in the elaborately decorated bathroom. Actually, they were sitting in the dining room watching ABC News at 7 A.M.

"You younglings should go to school," Shigure said over his morning hamburger.

Haru-kun glanced at the burger nervously and cleared his throat. Shigure hid the burger under the table until further notice.

"I don't want to go to schoo!" Kyo whined. He really wanted to go splunking.

"Well, too bad. Eat your taco quietly," Yuki demanded. He was trying to watch WGN9 News at 7:08, which was kind of hard because channel 7 was on, not 9. Yuki dearly wished to be a mother.

"We have a hugemongous problem," Hatsuharu, who will now be known as **HATSY** confessed.

"Oh no! It _must _be if it's hugemongous! Please, **HATSY**, tell us your woes!" Tohru encouraged him.

"MOO! Well, there's someone on my front porch and they just won't go away," **HATSY **confessed.

"Did you punch him?" Kyo asked.

"Yeah," **HATSY **confessed, ashamed.

"What happened?" Yuki wondered.

"His butt fell off!"

"Haha! **HATSY **said BUTT!" Shigure laughed, slapping his knee for dramatic affect. He surreptitiously took a bite of the Big Mac that was chilling out under the table.

"Oh dear, **HATSY**!" Tohru exclaimed. She wanted a Big Mac too, but didn't say anything.

"I need your help," **HATSY **confessed.

"Okay," Yuki accepted, because he and **HATSY **are good buddies.

"I'll be glad to come!" Tohru accepted, because she and Kagura are good buddies.

"KOKOPELLI!" Kyo screamed, because he and the toilet are good buddies.

Haphazardly, the quadruplet left Shigure to watch WGN9 News at 7:08 and eat his Big Mac in peace. They crawled down the street to **HATSY'S** house.

There, amidst all of the commotion, stood a man with no butt. He was shorter than Your Mom and wore a muffin hat. No, not a muffin _as _a hat, a **muffin hat**! Look it up on Google!

So anyway, the buttless man was just _standing_ there, just as **HATSY **had confessed. "Ah!" Tohru screamed, because the sight was quite frightening.

"Brotha, dis ain't yo porch-izzle!" **BLACK HATSY **confessed in a loud voice. "Y'all gotta slide downtown tuh ya own turf!"

The buttless man stood still, smiling his smile as if it were painted on.

"**BLACK HATSY,** calm down for a second," Yuki held **BLACK HATSY** back as he tried to smack or attack the cracked-butt man.

Yuki had an idea.

"Hello, sir," Yuki smiled soothingly, leaning forward. "What is your name?"

The buttless of the group did not say anything, but somehow, Yuki knew that his name was Melvin Buttle.

"Melvin Buttle-san… why have you come to **HATSY'S **porch?" Yuki tried to coax the answer out of Melvin by offering pie like a mother.

"MUFFIN!" Kyo declared, and gobbled up the pie like an eighty year old.

Melvin Buttle said nothing.

"Look at his silly ears!" Tohru pointed rudely.

"Oh no," **HATSY **confessed, no longer **BLACK HATSY**. "It's worse than I thought…"

"WHAT HAPPENED?" Kyo shouted at the side paneling of **HATSY'S** house.

"Poo!" the side paneling answered, happy that someone had chosen to talk to it. "Garbage Truck!"

"That's not a buttless man…" **HATSY **confessed in a classroom voice. "That's an elf."

"OH NO!" Everyone except for **HATSY** shrieked in outside voices. The side paneling was busy saying "BUM-BLE-BEE! BUM-BLE-BEE!"

"Well… what is this elfin object doing on your porch?" Tohru wondered.

"I like pie!" the side paneling shared with them.

"I don't know," **HATSY** confessed.

"Let's ask it!" Kyo declared.

"Okay," Yuki whimpered, forgetting he had already asked and Melvin hadn't answered. "Melvin… why are you here?"

Melvin Buttle remained silent.

Actually, he hopped away, giggling.

"NOOO!" everyone except for **HATSY **shrieked.

"Hatsuharu… are you talking to the lawn gnome again?" **HATSY'S** mom yelled from inside the house.

"Golly, that crazy **HATSY!**" the side paneling giggled.

Because it wouldn't stop talking once it was on the wagon, the four quirky teens ripped it off of the house and ate it. Then they went to school.

-

A million years later—well, actually only a few minutes later—Hatori stepped out of his house. He was going to the store to buy 31 boxes of Kleenex brand tissues, 5 out of 6 guitar strings, and a battery powered helicopter. However, there was a buttless man shorter than Your Mom standing on his front porch, blocking his view of that section of the veranda.

"How may I help you?" Hatori asked, tearing his eyes away from the hole where the butt was SUPPOSED to be.

Instead of answering, Melvin hopped inside buttlessly. Akito ate him later, and the side paneling giggled inside of your stomach.

"KONNICHIWA!" the side paneling declared. "I WATCH THE ANDY MILONAKIS SHOW!"

* * *

**I _do_ watch The Andy Milonakis show. Haha. So silly. Isn't HATSY an awesome nickname?** **WHEE!**

**That one… really did not make sense. Ah well. I enjoyed it so. **

**THANKS FOR READING!**

**Brenna**

**+The Girly Man+**

**Episode Eleven: The Lawn Mower**


	11. The Lawn Mower WITH FORESHADOWING!

**(Blows off dust) Hello? Anyone still there?**

**Sorry this took so long, but I really could not think of ANY ideas for this chapter. The next one will be coming soon though, after this one, because I already wrote it. Lol. **

**Once again, I don't own Furuba, and I also don't own Nickelback or any songs or lyrics mentioned. I also don't own Spy Kids 3D. I also don't own the Dandelion song, even though my band, Musical Monkey Monster Magicians covers it. I also don't own HOME DEPOT. I also don't own 500 smelly pigs that like to poo. I don't own a lot of things, do I?**

**Episode Eleven: The Lawn Mower (WITH FORESHADOWING!)**

It was a really sunny day. Seriously. It was so sunny that everyone had to wear three pairs of Kyo's secret stash of 3D glasses in order to go outside. The cheapy, paper kind of 3D glasses that you get when you buy Spy Kids 3D on DVD or VHS. That's why you had to wear three pairs!

Since Shigure is a silly guy and I'm listening to the newest Nickelback CD, Shigure made our three favorite teens go PULL WEEDS! OUTSIDE! That silly Shigure! He wants his house to look nice so he can have a **PARTY!**

That was **FORESHADOWING**, in case you couldn't tell!

So, grudgingly, our three favorite teens went outside with three pairs of 3D glasses and bulky, floral-patterned gardening gloves.

Since Yuki enjoys gardening and Tohru SORT OF does, this was no problem for them. As track one ended, there was a pounding on the garden gate.

"I'll get it," Kyo decided, because opening garden gates is MUCH more entertaining than pulling weeds.

It was…

**HATSY **and Kagura!

"Yay! Kagura! is here!" Tohru shouted, in case you forgot to read that last sentence.

Kagura! and **HATSY** hopped into the garden as track two ended! No, track two isn't that short, I'm just kinda slow when it comes to writing things down and I also walked away from the story for a few minutes!

"What are you doing?" Kagura! asked. She also thoroughly enjoys gardening, for future reference.

"Pulling weeds," Yuki replied lamely.

"YAY!"

Kagura! loves to pull weeds! She also loves KYO!

**HATSY **doesn't love weeds OR Kyo, though!

"Fuddruckers," **HATSY** said the name of the restaurant in a city not too far from where I am currently listening to Nickelback and writing this silly story. He really wanted to take the "uddr" out of **F**uddr**uckers**, because he's a cow, but he CAN'T because this story is rated K!

"There has to be an easier way…" Kyo and **HATSY **stroked their silly, hair-less chins in thought while track four started and Kagura! joined Yuki and Tohru with her own pair of bulky, floral-patterned gloves.

"Dandy, dandy, dandelion! Sweet little Springtime friend of mine!" Tohru sang a song my music teacher wrote when I was in second grade and Musical Monkey Monster Magicians sing on their debut CD, _Your Mother_. So what if I'm plugging my band in the middle of this silly chapter? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

Whoo. Sorry about that.

"A golden star in the sky of green! Prettiest sight I've ever seen!" Kagura! continued.

"Shine little dandy dandelion, oh shine little dandelion, shine…" Yuki finished quietly.

Kyo and **HATSY **were angry because they hated dandelions and songs about them, and the three green thumbs SHOULD'VE been singing SAVIN' ME by NICKELBACK because it just ended and track six is starting…

NOW!

"There has to be an easier way…" **HATSY **and Kyo trailed off in thought again because they forgot they had already said that and wanted to draw attention to themselves.

"Hey."

A strange voice said "hey" out of nowhere and everyone looked up at the garden gate that had been left open by that silly Kyo.

"HATORI!" Tohru screamed, because you wouldn't have been able to tell who it was if she hadn't said that.

"What's THAT?" Kagura! asked.

Hatori had brought with him a silly contraption that he was pushing in front of him.

"Is that TRACK SEVEN?" **HATSY** asked.

"No," Hatori stated. He loves Nickelback as much as I do, but didn't say anything about track seven, which was a pretty good song. "It's a lawn mower."

"Ooo…" everyone 'Ooo-ed' in awe as if they were at an American 4th of July celebration. Meaning, FIREWORKS! PUH-CHOO!

"What does it do?" Yuki wondered.

"It mows lawns," Hatori replied like it was the most obvious answer EVER.

"Mow? Like the sound a cow makes?" Kyo asked as track eight started. He LOVED track eight!

"NO. THAT'S **_MOO_**!" **HATSY** shrieked. Like he would KNOW. He demonstrated by letting out a big long **MOO.**

**ONOMATOPOEIA! **

Let's point out all literary devices, why don't we? WHEE! LANGUAGE ARTS ROCKS YOUR MOTHER!

"Mow… meaning… _cut_," Hatori corrected.

"AH! IS IT EVIL?" Tohru asked in a loud fashion.

"No," Hatori explained as track NINE began. "You see, I had to search long, hard, and far for this. He's really tame, though. I got him at…

"HOME DEPOT."

"Now why would you go through all that TROUBLE," Kagura! wondered like she actually knew what she was talking about. That Lawn Mower must have been some BIG MONEY.

"Because Shigure notified me of the **PARTY** that I'm **FORESHADOWING** more frequently now, that will take place **in A FEW CHAPTERS**, and I thought I would bring a lawn mower to assist in making Shigure's house look perty, and this took me until the middle of track ten to write," Hatori replied. GARSH, HATORI! TELL THEM A _NOVEL_ WHY DON'T YOU?

"At least we don't have to pull the weeds anymore," Kyo smiled like a foo.

"YEAH! Now we can just chop 'em up!" **HATSY** shrieked like a bloodthirsty cow.

"HOORAY!" Hatori, Kyo, Kagura, Rin, Tohru, and Yuki shrieked as that silly track eleven started… NOW!

They all drank lemonade and discussed politics while they watched Hatori moo the lawn. Then Brenna sat there listening to the last song so she could end the story at the exact same time the Nickelback CD ended! Silly authoress!

**FORESHADOWING!**

HEY HEY, I WANNA BE A ROCKSTAR!

* * *

**Wow, that was…**

…**different.**

**Hehe. I'm so silly.**

**That's the first time I've ever put myself in a story! And this was a really long chapter : P**

**Anyway, what did you think? Thanks for reading this silly nonsense…**

**Brenna**

**+The Girly Man+**

**Episode Twelve: The CIRCUS! (Based on somewhat actual and slightly true events)**


	12. THE CIRCUS!

**YAY! CIRCUS TIME!**

**This is based off of my first time going to the CIRCUS! Courtesy of everyone's favorite of Brenna's friends… JUSTINA! YAY! I LOVE YOU! **

**CIRCUS! YO MOMMA LOVES THE CIRCUS! WHO'S MOMMA DOESN'T LOVE THE CIRCUS? Well... mine... never mind! Tee-hee! Meh!

* * *

**

**Episode Twelve: THE CIRCUS! (Based on somewhat actual and slightly true events)**

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YUKI!"

**HATSY** burst into the Sohma's house randomly one day, flailing his picnic basket this way and that.

"You didn't tell me it was your BIRTHDAY," Tohru shrieked, flinging the day's Cheerios all over the silly floor.

"It's not," Yuki said flatly.

"Hiya, Birthday Boy!"

Momiji burst in, similar to the way **HATSY** had, minus the picnic basket. He was about to give Yuki a present before he noticed all of the Cheerios all over the silly floor and got distracted. He wanted to be a VACUUM! YES, WITH **TWO** U'S!

"It's not my birthday," Yuki responded.

"Oh, don't be so modest," **HATSY** waved a hand, nearly dropping the picnic basket. Don't worry, he didn't. All of the silly sandwiches and other picnicking items were safe!

"Do you know what we're gonna DO for your birthday?" Momiji asked, all giddy once he had finished the Cheerios.

Yuki, of course, did not know, because he doesn't have extra sensory perception!

But KYO does!

"You're taking us to a circus?" Kyo scoffed.

"Actually, we were going to go on a picnic," **HATSY** told them, gesturing to the basket that had been sitting quietly in his hand.

"BUT WE LIKE YOUR IDEA BETTER!" Momiji-chan and **HATSY** and even Tohru said at the same time, because they rehearsed last Saturday afternoon. Yuki thoroughly enjoyed circuses, but was too confused about this whole birthday fiasco to say anything.

So all of those kids gathered up some circus materials and pranced down the street. After all, you can't go to the circus without bling-bling, ponytail holders, and antibiotics!

Good thing it was an OUTDOOR circus! That meant **HATSY** could have his picnic, which was his heart's desire, and Momiji could watch the circus, which was his amoeba's desire! Silly amoeba!

Kyo came along just to make a big stink out of everything, but it was REALLY because he wanted to see the outdoor circus! Who wouldn't?

Before the circus started, **HATSY** sat everyone down on a conveniently placed picnic blanket and set all the goodies down. The picnic blanket was PLAID! Yuki LOVED plaid!

The guy in the shiny white tuxedo started talking into his shiny white microphone, and **HATSY** unpacked all of the food! Since it was Yuki's birthday, he had brought all of Yuki's favorite foods, such as cheese, ramen, yogurt, sashimi, pocky, tempera, rice, udon, coffee, bubblegum, pizza, cold turkey, onions, leeks, miso, carrots, cheese, pigeon, toast and marmalade, Panic! at the Disco, fish and chips, pancakes, chili, microwave macaroni, curry powder, caulk, wasabi, tofu burgers, fish, vanilla extract, blueberries, potatoes, kool-aid, bacon, cheese, milk, garlic bread, sugar-free ice cream, flavored clarinet reeds, tomatoes, tomatoes, hot dogs, croutons, onigiri, buckwheat noodles, soba, clam chowder, mayonnaise, grape juice, pickles, stew, fried rice, cabbage, BLT sandwiches, turnips, French fries, strawberry jam, ketchup, popcorn, corn flakes, pumpkin pudding, eggplant parmesan, baked corn, sweet potato, spinach, boiled eggs, butter, cheesecake, apple pie, mushrooms, sushi, bread, noodles, chirashi sushi, dumplings, fish sticks, cheese, cookies, apples, flowers, chicken patties, cilantro, burritos, foie gras, and cheese to name a few.

As they all ate the various snacking items, the circus started! Good thing it was a FREE circus, because **HATSY** didn't have any money left after buying all of the food.

The first act was the LION TAMERS. AND TIGERS! Kyo enjoyed this act, being a cat and all. The lion ate Momiji's head! Just kidding. It just jumped through fire rings a few times.

Next, a really ugly lady wearing a really ugly outfit sang a really ugly song. It was SO ugly that parents shielded random children's eyes, and everything that had ears covered them. Then, FINALLY, it was OVER! Everyone cheered and prayed that they would never have to hear something to ugly again.

While some crazy people attempted deadly acrobatic stunts, Momiji started whining.

"I WANT SOME COTTON CANDY," he whined.

**HATSY** cursed. It was one of the only things he hadn't bought!

Kyo waved down the cotton candy man, and Momiji chose pink. Not because he liked that FLAVOR. That would be silly! He chose it wholly because it was PINK!

"That'll be $3," the cotton candy man said, because ON TOP OF being outdoors, this circus was using AMERICAN CURRENCY!

Momiji didn't know that three bucks was actually kind of a lot for just ONE cotton candy in American currency, so he paid happily like a stereotypical Japanese school boy! Then he threw the cotton candy away because he doesn't like cotton candy! Silly Momiji!

After the deadly acrobats, choreographed elephants, short people, and tight rope walkers, it was time for INTERMISSION! So the audience wouldn't get bored because of overpriced foods and leave, there were elephant rides, albino snakes, and pony rides!

"I wanna ride a pony!" Momiji declared. So did Tohru!

"Let's ask Yuki what HE wants to do. It's HIS birthday, after all," **HATSY** shrugged, putting pronouns in capital letters.

"That snake looks mighty familiar," Yuki stroked his chin. Well of COURSE it looked familiar! It was AYAME!

"Aya-san! What are you doing here?" Tohru asked.

"I'm not Ayame," the snake said, because… he wasn't…

"Ayame-nii… what are you doing here?" Yuki asked the OTHER albino snake.

"Shh! Nobody's supposed to know I'm really a HUMAN BEAN!" Aya shrieked.

Since Aya-nii was being a smelly poo, **HATSY** watched some ponies poo! Ponies poo when they get scared, and who WOULDN'T be scared when a bunch of little kids wanted to RIDE you? Eww, that sounded gross!

There was one pony that HADN'T lost control of its bowels, though! It was

"Rin," **HATSY** walked over to the only not-pooing horse and sat on her.

"Go away," Rin said, because all she EVER says is mean things to **HATSY**! Poo on you, Rin-chan!

**HATSY**, now bored of circuses, wanted to leave.

"Did you have a fabulous birthday?" Tohru asked Yuki as they looked for their car in the parking lot.

"Yeah…" Yuki answered, although he was quite certain that his birthday was in September, not June.

"**HATSY**, are we lost?" Momiji asked **HATSY**, tugging on his coat. Silly **HATSY**! Don't wear coats in JUNE!

They were VERY lost! They were lost because **HATSY** can't read directions, and they had WALKED, not brought a vehicle!

Kyo giggled.

Simultaneously, a young girl walked up to Yuki. "Are you my mother?" she asked like in that silly Dr. Suess book.

Yuki now had to make the most important decision of his life.

"Yes," he replied.

YAY! YUKI IS NOW OFFICIALLY A MOTHER!

* * *

…**okay. **

**That ending was inspired by mt, an anonymous reviewer, whose suggestion was to make Yuki a mother like he wanted! Thank you!**

**And thank YOU, yes, YOU, for reading! YAY! YOU READ IT! **

**I haven't written the next one yet, so I have NO IDEA when it'll come out.**

**Brenna**

**+The Girly Man+**

**Episode Thirteen: The Pencil**

**Don't miss it!**


	13. The Garbage Can

**Haven't done one of these in a while! WHOO!**

**Listening to HelloGoodbye… parents aren't home… drinking 7Up…**

**Yes. It's time.**

**Hopefully the other ones won't take as long to post, because I've written the next three.**

**I don't own any of the things that would make sense for me to not own, because I am not a multi-bazillionare. And the things that have 'TM', 'C', and 'R' next to them really aren't trademarked, because again, I don't have enough money to copyright sentences, or Fruits Basket!**

**And thanks to all reviewers : )

* * *

**

**Episode Thirteen: The Garbage Can**

Tricked ya! You thought THE PENCIL would be next! Silly Burena-chan!

Yuki Sohma-fuzzy sat alone in his bedroom one Tuesday night, similar to right now, even though you may be reading this on say Saturday morning instead of watching _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_ on ABC Kids. He looked at his digital clock.

"It's 9:59 PM," Digital Clock told him. YUKI-FUZZY! You couldn't have just waited another minute until it was 10:00 and Digital Clock didn't have to say so many syllables, huh? How inconsiderate! HUMPH!

He was listening to the Black Eyed Peas, which has nothing to do with the story really so you could've skipped that sentence. I could be writing about furry green cheese balls right now, but you already know that since you just finished that sentence.

He also happened to be writing some angsty poetry, which happens to have 72 relevance to the story. That's a C minus! Oh poo. His angsty poetry was GOING TO be about a pretty pink pony, which is a quite angsty topic, but he just couldn't find the right words!

Oh, the p - 3 4 r!

It was his 57th… well, actually, his first… attempt at writing dat poem, and it looked like this:

_**Pretty Pink Pony**_

_**Eats apples from the apple tree**_

_**And pays no mind to me.**_

Although it made him feel quite angsty, it just wasn't what he was going for!

_**The pony is pretty**_

_**She is pink**_

_**She makes me feel silly**_

_**I think.**_

NO! You can't use the word SILLY in an angsty poem, Yuki-fuzzy!

Yuki-fuzzy had no room left on his paper because he writes large enough for a blind person to see, so he crumpled it up in a chipper yet angry manner, which inspires me to play madlibs more often because I just asked my sister for an adjective and she said 'chipper'.

In case you didn't know, an adjective is a person, place, or sandwich.

Yuki-fuzzy tossed the paper in the garbage can beside his desk. Here in Babaloo, we call flower pots garbage cans.

It was PHAT! The paper just DISAPPEARED into the black hole known as GARBAGE CAN! Yuki-fuzzy had no idea where it went, and was glad because that work of faux angst was despicable to look at!

But… where did it go?

People were ALWAYS trying to get rid of things, such as used towels, old bologna, illegal immigrants, poorly written yaoi fanfictions, My Chemical Romance, broken banjos and the Mr. McGregor that comes with it, Akito's hopes and dreams, garbage bags, silverware, Nacho Cheesier Dorito's Brand tortilla crisps, the skin of tomatoes, your momma, toothpick dispensers, 500 dollar bills, garage sales, the government, woodchucks, toe nail clippings, hairy arms, short shorts, play doh, book worms, long lists, newspapers that tell the truth and nothing but the truth, _Sorry 2004_ by Ruben Studdard CD singles, pretty pink ponies, _The OC_ season 7654984846498456145648479878798414 DVD box sets, math textbooks, hippies, secret pants, Tom Cruise, imported Italian wine, the 5,000 worthless and painful pages of _Eragon_ by Christopher Paolini, wet dog smell, the one hundred and seven remakes of _Do You Believe in Magic?_, neopets, magoogahr, Haptenschnekel, bagabagba, bleh, and back rubs! Yuki-fuzzy was certain that if he threw any of those 39 things in that garbage can, they would DISAPPEAR! Lovely! He could make millions!

After a long conversation with the phone company, Yuki-fuzzy decided to tell Kyo of the garbage can.

"Hey Kyo!" Yuki-fuzzy called, lifting the flower pot/garbage can up. Kyo came gallivanting into Yuki-fuzzy's bathroom through the window.

"Yeah?" Kyo asked.

"This garbage can makes things disappear!" Yuki-fuzzy exclaimed.

"PHAT!" Kyo shrieked.

"That's what I thought…" Yuki-fuzzy pouted.

"So if I put you in it, you'll disappear?" Kyo asked. He had a sinister plan.

Yuki nodded enthusiastically.

"Okay."

Kyo snatched the flower pot away from Yuki-fuzzy and put it over Yuki's head. He disappeared™!

©Never fear, because SHIGURE was in the vicinity!

Shigure put a little 'R' next to the sentence® and put Kyo in the garbage! Then Ayame threw Shigure away, and Hatori threw Ayame away, and Rin threw Hatori away, and Kureno threw Rin away, and Billie Joe Armstrong threw **HATSY** away, and Kagura! threw Kureno away, and Hiro threw Kagura! away, and Kisa threw Hiro away, and Momitchi threw Kisa away, and I threw my pen away because it ran out of ink on the word 'Momitchi', and Hanajima threw Akito away, and Uotani threw Hanajima away, and Ritsu threw himself away because he's worthless, and Tohru threw Uotani away, and then Tohru ruled the world because she threw everyone away, therefore I must end this episode because I am now stuck in a garbage can. It's okay though, because you are too!

BWAHAHAHAHA!

Evil Tohru fo-evah!

* * *

**I'm stuck in a garbage can.**

**I can't write an author's note.**

**But I just have to say…**

**I can't wait until Haptenschnekel comes.**

**Next…**

**Episode Fourteen: The Dreaded SCIENCE CLASS (with RANDOM FACTS!)**


	14. The Dreaded SCIENCE CLASS wRandom Facts

**In honor of school starting again (even though it sucks and I have no friends)…**

**and in honor of listening to crazy Japanese metal music loudly because my parents aren't home…**

**I SHALL UPDATE THIS STORY!**

**By the way, I don't own Fruits Basket. Or InuYasha. I only own Smelly Sal, Side Paneling, and Mrs. Johansen. Who is based off of my science teacher. But that isn't her name. So don't stalk her. That'd be scary. Believe me, she's not someone you'd want to stalk.**

**----**

**Episode Fourteen: The Dreaded SCIENCE CLASS (With Random Facts!)**

It was the first day of school for InuYasha, and this is the only chapter in which InuYasha will be mentioned in this particular story.

It was the first day of school for the students of Kaibara High, and BOY were they EXCITED! Kyo, Yuki, Tohru, Arisa, Saki, and Smelly Sal were going to their first class.

"What's your first class?" Kyo asked all seven llamas.

"Science," Yuki replied.

"Science," Tohru replied.

"Science," Arisa replied.

"Science," Saki replied.

"Science," InuYasha replied.

"Science," Smelly Sal replied.

"Science," Kyo replied, mad that everyone was going to science and he wasn't.

"Science," Random Guy replied.

"SCIENCE!" Side Paneling yelled.

"Okay, let's go," Yuki asked, smashing a book case. HOW CONVIENIENT!

"Your eyes and ears are the same size now as they were when you were a baby," Kyo told everyone.

"That fact was random." Tohru gasped in a loud fashion.

"Unless your name is Smelly Sal!" Arisa laughed. Everyone laughed too, except for Smelly Sal. Why is it fun to poke fun at Smelly Sal?

Because he's SMELLY, of course

InuYasha led the pack to the dreaded science class. He didn't say much because he's an undercover agent and didn't want to blow his cover.

Everyone went to science except for Kyo, who went to science.

Once they were in the room, the bell rang. Somebody through a paper airplane. Good thing Random Kid caught it, because it exploded once he touched it. Don't worry, no animals were hurt in the process.

The teacher walked in and slapped a ruler on her desk. That hushed everyone up because it was a green ruler and green makes a loud noise. Nobody was sitting down except for Side Paneling and InuYasha, so everyone had to clamber into seats. The seats were poorly made stools that were over 40 years old and IT SHOWED. There were pointy nails sticking out of them that ripped everyone's pants and icky graffiti and gum all over them. Since there weren't enough stools, Tohru-kun sat on the table. SILLY TOHRU!

"This class is not… _prompt_," Teacher said, glaring at everyone with three evil eyes. Just kidding. She only had five. "What does it mean to be… _prompt_?"

"Green Day's album _Dookie _was released in 1993?" Kyo suggested.

"EHH! WRONG!" Teacher made a buzzing noise and a loud green slap again. "We must work on being… _prompt._ By the way, my name is Mrs. Johansen and I'm your teacher."

"NO!" Everyone yelled.

"PROMPT!" Mrs. Johansen yelled, and everyone ate pie. Since they were eating pie, they were quiet and prompt. "Now… since it is the first day of school… I MUST IMMEDIATELY BOMBARD YOU WITH KNOWLEDGE!"

"NO!" Everyone spit out their pie.

"I don't need any knowledge," Kyo crossed his arms. "I have more random facts than I can count."

"Must not have that many then!" Smelly Sal said, and nobody laughed to make him feel stupid and embarrassed.

"There's only one way to settle this…" Saki cracked her knuckles. "We shall have a random facts battle."

"YAY!" Arisa and Tohru yelled with far too much enthusiasm than is healthy. Yes, Tohru was still sitting on that table.

"Kyo and Mrs. Johansen will take turns saying random facts. They must be true, and there will be no hesitation. If Kyo stumps Mrs. Johansen, we don't have to learn. If Mrs. Johansen is the victor, she can make as many green noises as she wants and tell us boring science things," InuYasha explained. In case you were wondering, he was the replacement 3LW member until the Cheetah Girls came along.

Everyone put the silly tables in a circle and sat down. Kyo and Mrs. Johansen stood in the center.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Side Paneling yelled to feel included.

"3… 2… 1… GO!" Rin started the battle, then went back to her own school.

"There are nine planets in the solar system," Kyo started.

"I have no idea how many strings are on a banjo," Mrs. Johansen shot back.

"Every ten years I am ten years older than I was ten years ago."

"My middle name is Phenomenon."

"Campbell's soup equals possibilities."

"There are three bed rooms in my house."

"I'm cursed by the zodiac."

"Every five years I visit my Aunt Sue."

"There are three or four letters in my first name."

"I never knew Kyo was so smart!" Tohru gasped in a loud fashion.

"And… random," Yuki put in.

"Toe," Saki agreed.

"I'm hungry," Mrs. Johansen said.

"My cousin Yuki smells worse than Smelly Sal!"

Yuki was offended!

Mrs. Johansen was dumbfounded! She couldn't respond because **HATSY** burst into the room and shoved Mrs. Johansen in the closet right then. KYO WON!

Then class was over so nobody had to learn anything anyway.

----

**Ever wanted to see your story in TBYBAOSA?**

**SUBMIT IT!**

**Send me your odd story (300 words or less) and it will be tagged onto the end of Episode Sixteen! You WILL receive credit. Therefore, to PM me, you must have a penname. Sorry! No submissions in reviews will be taken. I'll pick the silliest, and give you credit for it!**

**Also, I need three more ideas for adventures… I'm out of them… haha.**

**THANKS!**

**Contest ends when chapter fifteen is posted. I'll tell you who the winner is at that time.**

**GET TO IT!**

**Episode Fifteen: The Pencil**

**DON'T MISS IT!**


	15. The Pencil

**And the winner is…**

**AKITO. AT THE DISCO!**

**Because she's the only one who sort of entered! –blows streamers-**

**YAY!

* * *

**

**Episode Fifteen: The Pencil**

One musical day, Kyo-chan got home from school. He threw his backpack onto the chair at his desk and lay down on his bed because not many of these episodes have started with Kyo. Once he was lying down, he counted to 102 and when he had finished, he had been laying there for three hours. By then it was really late and he needed to do his remedial algeBRA homework.

Oops, I held the shift key down too long.

Wait, why was it down at all?

Maybe I was just making a point that there's a BRA at the end of ALGEBRA! Hehe!

Kyo happily yet angrily dug through his neopets backpack. He found his homework and a dead animal, but he now had no writing utensil!

He was about to mix up some crazy calligraphy ink which takes an annoyingly long time if you use a suzuri and sumi. My sumi has a DRAGON on it and gets really sticky if you put water on it. What does YOUR sumi look like?

Kyo's sumi has a CHEESE on it, even though I asked YOU, not HIM. He had it custom made after the mustard incident. Anyway, Kyo was about to mix up some of that crazy ink with his suzuri and sumi when he remembered that algeBRA is done in NOT INK!

But… he couldn't remember what the opposite of ink was!

Since it was the best slash only option, he went to everyone's favorite inu-san…

GARFIELD!

Just kidding. That's a CAT.

Kyon-kyon really went to…

SHIGURE!

Did you see that coming or WHAT?

"Shii-chan," he poked the already awake Shigure. "What's the opposite of ink?"

Shigure was so happy that Kyon had asked him such an important question that he forgot to answer!

"SHII!" Kyo trumpeted.

"Oh… uh…"

SHIGURE DIDN'T KNOW! And he's the AUTHOR!

"Um… I'm busy. Ask Yuki," he covered up quickly, blowing the snots out of his nose a few times to make it look like he was doing something.

"YUN!" Kyo yelled down the hall without hesitation.

"KYON!" Yuki replied, running down the hall and stopping abruptly like when my sister first got her license. He stopped abruptly right behind Kyo.

"What's the opposite of ink?" Kyo wanted to know.

"You mean… you don't KNOW?" Yuki whispered in a shocked fashion.

"Just tell me," Kyo felt embarrassed.

"The opposite of ink is…

"PINK."

"Okay thanks," Kyo trotted away, back to his dungeon.

Kyo tried rubbing some pink things against the paper, but the cotton candy got stuck to it, the pig pooped all over it, the eraser erased everything, and the grass had no effect.

"Oh bagabagba!" Kyo shrieked, because the eraser had erased all two problems he had done at school.

Little did he know, by shrieking 'bagabagba', he had summoned HAPTENSCHNEKEL, the German god of all things minty!

"Blehhhh," Haptenschnekel bleh-ed.

"Whoa, hold up g! Who does y'all tink you ahh, just baagin' in ma place like you ma GRAMMA oh some'in?" Kyo barked. LITERALLY!

"Magoogahr," Haptenschnekel replied. Neither of us speaks fluent Japanese and Haptenschnekel only knows a wee bit o' German. I'm an Irish lassie with a black accent, so I have no idea what I'm talking about! Let's get back to the story.

"Magoogahr," Haptenschnekel repeated. In case you were wondering, he was wearing a green robe with peppermint striped socks. He IS the god of minty, after all!

"I don't know German," Kyo pouted. Then he had an idea, which was pretty rare. "Wait here."

Kyo went and got Momiji, since Momiji is German but they left that out of the anime. Isn't Momo just ADORABLE?

"OH EM GEE I CANNOT BELIEVE HAPTENSCHNEKEL IS STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!" Momiji gasped once he was safely in front of Haptenschnekel. The two old buddies began conversing words of Spongebob. In GERMAN, of COURSE!

"…what's he saying?" Kyo asked, feeling all uncomfortable-like.

"He wants to know if you want anything mint-flavored," Momiji said while he drank some Listerine. BAD MOMIJI! THIS IS FOR THE KIDS, NYA!

"No… I need to know what the opposite of ink is," Kyo blushed all embarrassed-like.

"Then why did you shriek 'bagabagba?'" Momiji demanded.

"It was an accident."

"You know, it's better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality," Momiji said with a humph, and him and Haptenschnekel jumped into the portal to Germany and lived happily ever after.

Kyon was about to get that cheesy sumi out and mix up some crazy ink when suddenly, TOHRU burst in.

"That dead animal is really a pencil," she told him and evanesced soon there after.

When she evaporated, Kyo contemplated all she had said.

The opposite of pen was pig after all!

* * *

**On Friday at school I took 30 shots of that Listerine pocket mist.**

**It felt like death.**

**I felt drunk the rest of the day.**

**And Joe says he'll buy me a whole one if I take it all at once.**

**And sometimes I really do talk like _"Whoa, hold up g! Who does y'all tink you ahh, just baagin' in ma place like you ma GRAMMA oh some'in?"_**

**But not as drastically.**

**Chi-town, baby.**

**Yes.**

**Congrats to Akito again.**

**Episode Sixteen: The Wallpaper… and Omake Theatre!**

**DON'T MISS IT!**

**(If someone else wanted to submit a random story thing… you know… I'd put that on there too… haha…)**

**(And thanks to my buddy Juste for supplying me with enough ideas until chapter 20... YES. You read correctly! I'm only going up to chapter 20 if I can't think of anymore ideas. Gomen!)**

**I'm so PSYCHED! I just posted my first ever tab on Ultimate-Guitar! YAY! It's for The Killing Lights by AFI. My name is dont-fake-it. So when it comes up you should go look for it and rate it and comment it. It should be up by Tuesday, I think.**

**HAPPY OCTOBER!**


	16. The Wallpaper WITH OMAKE THEATRE!

**I am SO hungry right now. I want pizza.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket. I also don't own the Omake Theatre at the end.

* * *

**

**Episode Sixteen: The Wallpaper… and OMAKE THEATRE!**

It was a dark and stormy night, and you sat there reading this story. At the same time, the story was happening!

Tohru Honda was lying on the floor of her closet trying to fall asleep, when she noticed something HORRENDOUS.

The wallpaper in her closet was… dare I say… PEELING!

OH SNAP!

Tohru let out a completely glass-shattering scream that shattered some glass. Yuki, Kyo, and Shigure BURST into the room, and so did **HATSY** because EVERYTHING is more fun when your name is **HATSY**! Just ask RIN!

…am I the only one who understood that joke? I thought it was FUN-NAY!

"What's wrong?" everyone asked AT THE SAME TIME. They practiced last Saturday.

"The… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… OH I CAN'T SAY IT!" Tohru cried. Yuki offered free burritos, but nobody wanted any.

Shigure cautiously bent down and looked to where Tohru was pointing and crying. "OH NO!" Shigure cried and everyone got into a complete frenzy! They all destroyed burritos and tapestry!

"Wait… what happened?" Kyo-chan asked all of a sudden. Everyone stopped and a big truck could be heard in the room next door.

"The… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… WALLPAPER!" **HATSY **suddenly knew why everyone was in a tizzy.

"AHH!" Everyone yelled and the frenzy started all over again.

"WE MUST GO TO MATTRESS GIANT!" Yuki squealed, because everyone knows there's a BOATLOAD of wallpaper selections at MATTRESS GIANT!

They all flew down the street at speeds insurance agents would be jealous of, right into Taco Bell (I am SO hungry right now).

"Wow! There's so many mattresses here!" Tohru exclaimed.

"Welcome to Taco Bell! How may I be of serving to you?" the stereotypical happy Mexican behind the counter asked.

"Yeah… we're looking for a mattress," Yuki said.

"Actually, we're looking for a wallpaper," Yuki said.

"Ah… well, you could try ze Mattress Giant next door, man," the stereotypical Jamaican pig with dreadlocks and suspenders on his overalls replied.

"OKAY," **HATSY** moo-ed. He loves birds!

After a quick lunch of Teamo Supremo, they went next door. Too bad they went to the WRONG next door! They ended up in HOT TOPIC!

Hot Topic was playing a stereotypical metal song at the time and there was a shirt with Kyo's face on it but he didn't notice. The lumpy pink-haired lady said "WelcometoHotTopictodaywehaveasaleonunderwearwhatelseisnew," all in one breath! WHOA!

"We're looking for a mattress," Shii-chan told the lumpy lady.

"Well… did you go to MATTRESS GIANT?"

"Good idea! Thanks," Kuki said.

Then they actually went to Mattress Giant. They purchased a Serta mattress and went home.

"Wait… didn't we need wallpaper?" **HATSY** said once they got home.

"What do you call THIS?" Shigure pointed to the recently purchased mattress.

"…uh…"

**HATSY** didn't know! That meant it was the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… the… WALLPAPER!

"Okay, how do we stick it on?" Kyo asked. He was all excited because he totally loves sticky things.

"With glue and carpet tack. DUH," Yuki said, and received a spanking for put-downs.

"Okay," **HATSY** said.

With the help of all parties, the Oregon Trail was saved! Then they put up some mattress/wallpaper. Now Tohru could sleep standing UP in her closet!

* * *

**BUM! BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM!**

**The moment you've been waiting for…**

**OMAKE THEATER!**

**AKITO. At the Disco:**

ONE DAY AKITO ATE A FRITO AND TURNED INTO A DORITO THE END

**YAY! Good job! TWAS SPIFFAY!**

**Episode Seventeen: The Insult**

**DON'T MISS IT!**


	17. The Insult

**Alerts aren't working, but I hope you read this somehow...**

**I don't own Freak da Mighty, or Yūsuke from HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR (which means I don't own the song Ichirin no Hana). I don't own Princess or (SADLY!) Joe, but I do, however, own Juste.**

**Just kidding. You're so gullible. Why, there's gullible written on the ceiling!**

**I know you just looked up. You silly MOO!**

**I found the song that most perfectly describes my life. "I'm Just a Kid", by Simple Plan. WHOOT.**

**This episode is dedicated to Joe because he rocks like that. Bits 'a glass muffin! T'…OW!**

**This episode is also dedicated to Juste, because if you squint, she's almost as cool as Joe.**

**Just kidding, Juste! Ai shite'ru yo!**

**Fish is GOOD.

* * *

**

**Episode Seventeen: The Insult**

"Hey Brenna, what's that on the bottom of your shoe?" That Handsome Joe Capital-of-Spain asked Authoress one morning in first period Literature.

Authoress was about to answer after glancing at the oddly textured bottom of her 12 dollar Target brand poser Vans before Juste stuck her big ol' face in the conversation.

"JANK!" she hollered right in Brenna's ear. She meant 'junk' but it came out all silly-sounding. "Fish is GOOD!" she added in a guttural voice, and the entire class would mimic her for the next month and then some.

Anywho, right then, Rin, **HATSY**, Yuki, Tohru, Shigure, Kureno, and Kyou burst into the classroom because unlike Authoress, That Handsome Joe Capital-of-Spain, and Juste, they're actually _IN_ Fruits Basket. Sob. They burst right into the classroom, and let's add Yūsuke from HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR too because he's REALLY HOT. Why is that guy wearing a dress?

"_HIKARI GA MATOMO NI SASHIKOMA NAI KIMI MARUDE HIKAGE NI SAITA HANA NO YOU…"_ Yūsuke wailed in that slightly off-key Japanese voice of his.

"What is THIS?" Kyoo asked as he stormed to the front of the room and picked up Authoress's copy of that wicked awesome 5th grade style book FREAK DA MIGHTY.

"A BOOK. HAR HAR HAR!" Rin laughed like a silly horse, and so did **HATSY** and Kagura! even though .53 of them weren't even there, and none of them were horses.

"_NOZONDA HAZA JYANAKATTA BASHO NI NE HARASETE UGOKEZU NI IRUNDA NE…" _Yūsuke continued, though by this time nobody was listening.

"This is no BOOK! This is a mere KLEENEX!" Kyot screeched, and blew his nose on it as proof.

"HUUUUUUH!" Yuki gasped, but I'm not really sure how to spell a gasp. Let me try again.

"SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH!" Yuki took in a sharp intake of breath.

"Oh no you di-int!" Gure-Gure waved a finger at Ko (I spelled that wrong on accident but it made me chortle so I refuse to correct it) even though like Joe, he had absolutely no idea what was going on.

"Oh yes he…" **HATSY **started, but got distracted by how wet Kureno's hair was when everybody knows Kureno hasn't bathed in over 20 years. Therefore, he could not add the 'di-id' because it would have less than the desired affect, and instead listened to the punk yet emo sounds of The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus at loud volumes.

Yuki was so mad at Yko because he was secretly offended because HE had secretly written that book secretly! That's right! It should say SOHMA YUKI. Not RODMAN PHILBRICK.

"Are you mad?" Rin asked him, secretly not caring because she's a horse. PONY!

"I'm FURIOUS," Yuki yelled furiously. He was so furious that not even Takuya and his awesome hair could save him now! But wait, I'm mad at Takuya! Because he called me a bad name! SOB!

Let's try that again.

"I'm FURIOUS," Yuki yelled furiously. He was so furious that not even Yūsuke and his hopeless attempts to be an American could save him now.

"Do you feel INSULTED?" Rin hollered in a British accent."

"I DO!" Yuki sat on the chalkboard somehow. THAT'S how mad he was.

"Here's what'cha do," Kureno said, gathering the whole class minus Kyo into a huddle. "No," Kureno snapped his right finger above his head, "You," Kureno shifted his hips and crossed his arm to the other side of his body and snapped yet again, "Di-int." Kureno finished, dropping his hand to his side with a final snap. "Got it?"

"YEAH!" everyone in the class replied except for Juste who screamed "JUNK!" and Princess who didn't say anything.

"One… two… three… NO YOU DI-INT!" the whole class plus Yuki minus Princess hollered at Kyoo. Kyoe was so frightened that he jumped out the not open window, but not after taking Sensei Ken's guitar so he could float down safely. Yūsuke jumped down too, just because I'm sick of him and his Japanese rapping. IT WAS FOR THE SAKE OF THE GUITAR!

"_YUU SHALD NOTTICEE TAT TERE ISH NO UZZAH…!"_ He screamed as he fell onto the soccer field and everyone laughed because no matter how many times they recorded that part of the song, I'm SURE he could NEVER say 'You should notice that there is no other' as well as Joe can!

Yuki thought everyone was safe 'til the princiPAL called "LOCKDOWN!" from Mars and everybody jumped onto the bookshelf so they couldn't be seen if a murderer happened to look through the door's window.

Too late! Two people opened the locked door, only they weren't really people at all. They were anime characters, and that's why they could open the locked door. Nobody knew who it was at first until Juste was all like "SILLY MONKEY MAN!" and everyone sighed a sweet sigh of relief because it was only Ritsu and Akito.

"GOMENASAI!" Ritsu started yelling before Akito told him to go eat raw dough. Which he didn't, because you could get salmonella, and I really don't know how to spell that.

"WICKED!" Authoress yelled, because not ONLY did she get to meet Rin, Yuki, Yūsuke, and **HATSY**, her favorite-est anime characters and Japanese guy with a fobby accent, but Machi Kuragi wasn't there and Ritsu had shaved his head! He now had it all shaved and dyed all bleach blonde like Gerard Way, and it looked HORRENDOUS… LY UGLY! The cool thing was that they were both in The Black Parade, which I REALLY REALLY REALLY COME ON MOM IT'S ONLY EIGHT DOLLARS wanna join. Yep! That's right! They had their black pants, black shoes, and black 'We Are the Black Parade' (THAT ARE ONLY EIGHT DOLLARS!) t-shirts on, even though it wasn't even October 24th, the Halloween Dance, OR Halloween yet! WHAT A SILLY MOO!

"SING, MONKEY!" Akito demanded of Ritsu.

"WHENIWASAYOUNGBOYMYFATHERTOOKMEINTOTHECITYTOSEEAMARCHINGBANDDDDDDDD!" Ritsu wailed in a voice that was almost as off-key as Yūsuke's.

"Good…" Akito snickered like a desk chair. These metal chairs make me hungry!

"FISH IS GOOD!" The whole class couldn't help but holler and shared a good, hearty laugh. Akki-nee-chan (BECAUSE HE'S A GIRL! SHH!) spotted them, though, and so all of them received F-minuses on their report cards. WHOA! That's even worse than the D I got on my last algebra test! WHOA!

Akki-nee-chan felt kind of bad though so he gave the whole class eight-dollar 'We Are the Black Parade' shirts which became their gym uniform because that was their next class and since everyone was already wearing the same thing like an odd, freakish, cult, the teacher(s) didn't make them change because the 7th graders got some shirts from that chipper lad I like to call Momiji since they're in my class too and this sentence has absolutely no grammatical structure so I think I'll stop before the elephants get me. JOIN THE BLACK PARADE.

And anyone who stills thinks Ohio is for lovers has OBVIOUSLY never been to Dairy Queen.

* * *

**That was odd. I'm sorry if you didn't understand. Most of it is inside jokes with the kids in my class and frankly, you're most likely not in my class, unless your name is Juste or Joe. **

**Episode Eighteen: The Park**

**DON'T MISS IT!**

**I love you, Juste and Joe!**


	18. The Super Market

**NO AUTHOR'S NOTE FOR YOU! BWAHAHAHA! I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM!**

**By the way, a BIG OLD STINKIN SUPER AWESOME thank you to band geeks are hot, for the snapping idea with Yuki from the previous chapter, the idea for a super market disaster, and the idea for a random day at the park. YOU SAVED THIS STORY! YAY!

* * *

**

**Episode Eighteen: The Super Market**

Rocking out to AFI was a strange thing for Tohru Honda, meaning it was an ordinary thing for everyone else in the entire world. Although Tohru-fuzzy didn't know it, Davey Havok was simultaneously being really hot in a girly sort of way. Then Brenna threw her pen across the room in anger because Juste signed off before she got to answer her messages and Davey Havok is prettier than she! And that's not how she wanted to start this episode!

It was a seemingly normal day for everyone with the last name "Sohma" (which eliminates half of Japan), meaning it was an extremely freakish day for everyone else in the universe. Dragons were forcing everyone to read that horrible waste of time we call Eragon by Christopher Paolini, Thrytons didn't answer Yuclos's t-mail, somebody knocked Brendon Urie out with a bottle of water on stage, Brenna got a D on her algebra test, and the Backstreet Boys had a new song. Talk about freakish!

But the Sohmas just went about their normal day, cleaning and partying and rocking out to Metallica and being an emo cat. It wasn't until a dragon scorched the roof off of their house that Tohru had a fancy flashback of the night before…

…_She had been sitting all alone at the bathroom table playing Tic-Tac-Toe, when she realized she had no curry powder to extremely over-spice her silly Japanese recipes! She told herself she would go to the super market the next day _and the fancy flashback-ing italics scene ended.

"Oh goodness!" Tohru exclaimed as she turned her Metallica off. She ran to get Shigure, who had been cleaning, Kyo, who had been partying, and Yuki, who had been being (HAHAHA BEEN BEING THAT SOUNDS SO FUNNY IF YOU SAY IT OUTLOUD!) an emo cat and marched all the troops onto the field. "We don't have enough curry powder!"

Yes they did. They had a whole ROOM full of curry powder, but that just WASN'T ENOUGH for TOHRU JONATHON SOHMA.

"GOMENASAI! OMAE NO SAE DA!!!" Ritsu hollered, even though it really WAS his fault because he had put one curry powder speck too many in his curry cereal. So don't worry, you didn't do anything. Really. I just don't know how to say 'it's all my fault' in Japanese. I only know how to say 'it's all YOUR fault' even though I'm pretty sure I spelled it wrong. Then everyone in the entire 8th grade threw their cell phones at him. Sadly, he survived, and that's why Columbus didn't really discover America.

"What shall we do?" Kyo-chan asked in a serious voice.

"WE should DESTROY the POWERPUFF girls!" Shigure declared, and after that episode was over, everyone in Japan crammed into their living room and started babbling fish noises as if they were, well, FISH.

What noise does a fish make, you ask?

Well, little child, it goes a little something like this…

GLUB GLUB FISHY FISHY

SWIMMING IN A POND

GOMENASAI, JUSTE-CHAN,

OMAE NO SAE DA!

Just kidding. It really only goes 'Glub glub fishy fishy'… but… RITSU MADE ME DO IT!

"GOMENASAI!" Ritsu shrieked and tried to run out of the room, but everyone in Japan was in there, remember? So nobody could get out, let alone MOVE. That means Taisuke was there! Which probably made him mad, because Hiromitsu says he hates fish. Which is silly, because I do too! But not Juste. You see, Juste thinks fish is GOOD.

"Hey!" Juste pouted as I swore in front of the principal on accident and had to check the name of this chapter again because I have absolutely no idea what I've been going on about at this point.

Ah yes. The super market.

So let's pretend that whole scene with all of Japan saying 'glub glub fishy fishy' and cower in fear of the ghost in Joe's house before we start at

"What shall we do?" Kyo-chan asked in a serious voice.

"You know, I heard they're having a sale at the SUPER MARKET," Shigure stroked his silly chin.

"Yeah…" Yuki mused. "…buy one room of curry powder, get the second room free…"

"I thought that was Luna Carpeting," Tohru raised her hairless eyebrow. You know, the round one made of spaghetti?

Or spaGEEtti as Giade de Laurentiis would say in a hopeless attempt to be Italian. What a large head she has!

"It won't hurt to try," Kyo offered. What a guy! Why, you'd never guess he's the one who left the dead bodies in the river by Gerard Way's childhood home in New Jersey!

So they finally went to the super market. Great job, guys. Only took you three pages written/two pages typed.

Tohru was amazed when they first got to the super market because she's only been there like, what, five hundred bobzillion times? Then she was shocked because they were giving out free muffins. They were only allowed one muffin per family, though, so Yuki had to cut it up into thirds with a cheap plastic fork which was easy because he's emo and good at cutting things.

"You're such a good cutter, emo kid!" Shigure cried and everyone ate their third 'cept Kyo-chan who didn't get one because of the thing with the bodies in the river again. It was a really good muffin too because it was pumpkin and applesauce flavored and Juste made it with her own three hands. And her LOVE!

AI!!

Anyway, they didn't have to look very hard because the XBOX showed them the way. They asked the lady for curry powder and she was all like 'babaloo' and so everybody cried and there was no curry powder left. As you can see, I'm getting kind of lazy with this ending and I just heard that Fergie song that corrupted my brain. My sister has a friend named Fergie.

So everyone blamed Ritsu and it was a regular day for everyone in the world except the Sohmas, who thought they had an inadequate amount of curry powder but they really didn't.

* * *

**Joe says there's a ghost in his house.**

**I doubt it. **

**Joe is my best technology buddy.**

**Seriously. I was gonna wet my pants today from laughing so hard. JOE ROCKS! Even though he'll probably never read this. He most likely will never read this.**

**Episode Nineteen: The Park (for real this time!)**

**DON'T MISS IT!**


	19. The Park

**SIGH. IF ONLY THE DOCUMENT MANAGER WOULD LET ME UPLOAD THINGS.**

**Instead, I'll sing SUM 41.**

**WHYYYY WHY YOU ALWAYS KICK ME WHEN I'M HIGHHH KNOCK ME DOWN TIL WE SEE EYE TO EYEEEE I'M HANGING AROUND I KNOW SHE MAY NOT BE MISS RIGHT SHE'LL DO RIGHT NOWWWWW.**

**Sorry.**

**By the way, I know a really cool role-play forum. Review or PM if you wanna join. There's lots of characters left. Yay. JOIN, GOSH DARNIT!**

**Episode Nineteen: The Park**

Rin Sohma is my favorite Fruits Basket character. She so pretty. I wish I had her hair. There is a spider dangling from my ceiling. I named him Jim. I wish I was Rin Sohma.

Sohma Isuzu AKA SALMONELLA MAN! AKA Miss Murder AKA Rin sat at the park one day. She had a laptop. LUCKY! JUST ANOTHER REASON TO ENVY HER!

Cough. Anyway, she was filling out a MySpace survey AKA Brenna's homework assignment when w e had that bi-polar old guy as a substitute after the flood last week.

**Question One: _If you were a bug, what bug would you be? Why?_**

Rin thought long and hard about this question. How very important it was! She answered it as if her life depended on it.

_I wanna be a ladybug cuz they pretty and eat leaves that are yummy._

_That's a good answer,_ she thought to herself, and continued the survey.

**Question Two: _Who would be your best bug buddy? Why?_**

_I would be friends with Buzzy the bumble bee because we both fly and we pretty._

_That's a good answer,_ she thought to herself, and continued the survey.

**Question Three: _Who would you fear if you were a bug? Why?_**

_I would be scared of walking sticks cuz they jump out and scare other bugs._

_That's a good answer,_ she thought to herself, and you thought this sentence would be the same as last time, but what you DIDN'T know was that **HATSY** had been sitting next to her the whole time and suddenly got this burning impulse to make out with Rin, and did just that. The last three questions of the survey went unanswered. TOO BAD! YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY ARE! NEVER!

"Hi!" Tohru said as she and Kyo conveniently stepped in front of Rin and **HATSY** to give them privacy, and because this story is rated K and needed censorship. If you want lemons, y'ain't gonna find them here. Sorry! I suggest **For want of a horse**, by **Joey8**, because that's everyone's secret favorite lemon story. At least, it's mine. And it's no longer a secret!

"Hi!" Kyo said too, and then Yuki came because DUH, you can't have Kyo and Tohru there without him, even though he's about as boring and unfeeling as a mud-covered stick.

"Hi!" Yuki said and everyone ignored him because he has a girl's name. I don't know why they talk to TOHRU then. She has a BOY name.

HAHAHA SHE HAS A BOY NAME!!! HAHAHA LAUGH LAUGH CHORTLE CHORTLE!

Then HIRO came! Remember the kid I've completely left out of all 18 of these until now? I'm sorry if you forgot who he is. I did too. YOU'RE NOT ALONE!

They were about to have a big party at the park, but then they remembered that it was illegal because they needed six people and Rin and **HATSY** couldn't count because they were too busy eating each other's faces.

So Tohru whipped out her mobile device and text messaged Kagura!. Turns out Kagura! was in the park already! She was right behind them but they couldn't see her because Rin and **HATSY**'s make out session was in the way. Nonetheless, she joined them with a baby carriage. NO, SILLY, you didn't completely miss some random hint in the manga/anime that said Kagura! had a baby. They all looked into the carriage and saw that Momiji's head was in there. They were all pleased. But since Momiji's head only counted as half a person, they couldn't have the party yet.

But then, HIRO, the seemingly-useless-until-now brat, had an idea! He retrieved Ritsu from under the storm drain and since Ritsu only counts as half a person whether he has a head or not, they now had a grand total of six people! Only I probably counted wrong because I apparently stink like poo-poo at math because I got a C- on my last algeBRA test and a D on the one before that! Holy schnafe!

Now they COULD'VE had a party if they REALLY wanted to, but I'm saving that idea for a sunny day.

"Now what do we do?" Momiji's head asked since it had never been to the park before.

"I don't know. There's nothing to do at a park," HIRO, boy genius, hollered even though it wasn't necessary. Silly brat! There are PLENTY of things to at a park if you set your mind to it!

But since none of them had minds, they had to use other people's!

"Hey, what do you do at a park?" Kyo asked two blonde girls who only WISHED they were emo.

"JANK!" Juste screamed.

"Like, I don't know, man," Brenna said in her stupid baboon voice, then shriveled up in the sun and continued playing her guitar BADLY and writing fanfiction BADLY because that's ALL SHE'S GOOD FOR.

Since both answers were stupid, they decided to go with Juste's because it was possible. They played a game I like to call 'Stack Garbage Cans Until They Fall Over and Then Don't Pick Them Up and See Who Gets Mad.' To do this, they collected garbage cans until their feet 'sploded and then made Ritsu stack them so they could blame him when they fell over.

"HEY YOU CRAZY KIDS!" Crazy Garbage Officer Bill yelled at them when the garbage went 'JANK!' all over the place. They all ran away 'cept for Momiji because he was only a head. Actually, they didn't run because their feet 'sploded earlier. So they were put in the slammer. But not Rin and **HATSY**. Just another reason to WANT TO BE HER.

As you can see, it was a regular day at the park.

**That actually was my homework assignment, first week of October when I wrote this.**

**And those were my answers XD**

**Episode Twenty: I DON'T KNOW CUZ I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IT YET.**

**Don't miss it!**


	20. THE LAMEST BYB EPISODE EVER STARRING ME

**-cough cough- WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS THE BIG YELLOW BUS AND OTHER SILLY ADVENTURES? WHAT IS THIS THING THAT I'VE FOUND?**

**Today is the official one-year birthday of me starting this story.**

**Tomorrow is the official one-year birthday of me posting it on the site.**

**I don't own The Used or the iPod company, though I do own _In Love and Death_ and a white 30GB video.**

**I don't own Jake Taylor, the magic kindergarten-failing boy!**

**The only thing I own is Joe.**

**Just kidding.**

…**It's not like he's ever gonna read this.**

**I OWN YOU, JOE, AND I HAVE A BIG FREAKIN' MASSIVE CRUSH ON YOU.

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**

**Episode Twenty: The ¡HAY RELÁMPAGOS!**

"Burn the sun! Burn the light! Take take take take take take it away!" Brenna sang badly along to her new-ish The Used CD which was playing on her new-ish iPod at loud-ish volumes. Ish. She was eating strawberry pocky as she walked home from school on a day that isn't today, because today is Sunday. Everything was going pretty well until she felt a big ball of mud hit her on the back of the head!

"WHO THREW THAT?" she yelled as she turned around. She wasn't even on that crazy pot-smoker's street yet! There seemed to be no one in sight so Brenna stupidly continued walking.

"Let it bleed… and take the red for what it's worth whoa!" Brenna sang to 'Let it Bleed.' She was already on that song because like Orville Redenbacher, she can never listen to a song for over 42 seconds.

Suddenly, Brenna was hit in the back of the head with a shopping cart!

"HEY! THAT HURT!" Brenna whined characteristically. But when she turned around, there was NOBODY THERE!

Brenna decided that if this happened again she was going to call her loving brother Sam.

GREEN DAY ALERT!

I keep doing that.

I think Debbie is being annoyed.

Who WOULDN'T be annoyed if someone kept IM-ing INSERT RANDOM BAND NAME HERE ALERT to you?

Then it DID happen again. This time, a SMALL TIGER was thrown at her head!

Brenna whipped out her cheap cell phone and pressed the '5' key in because Sam was on speed dial. "SAM!" Brenna screamed once her brother answered the phone. "SOMEBODY KEEPS THROWING STUFF AT ME."

"Then why don't you come home?" Sam shrugged, and hung up.

Brenna shrugged and was about to continue home until a garbage can was thrown over her and she could no longer see! She began kicking and screaming but it was true that she was being ABDUCTED!

I FEEL A GERARD WAY QUOTE COMING ON.

"_We like to kidnap them in a van, and leave them somewhere dangerous. SURPRISE!"_

Brenna wasn't kidnapped in a van though. Just a garbage can.

PANIC! AT THE DISCO ALERT!

When Brenna awoke, she wasn't greeted by Gerard Way, to her demise. She was greeted by…

RIN, KYO, AND AYAME: THE WEIRDEST COMBINATION OF FRUITS BASKET CHARACTERS EVAHHHH.

Brenna rubbed her eyes and then looked up at the three fictional characters. "Umm… hi?" she shrugged.

"You're in big trouble, mister!" Rin shrieked like Michelle from Full House.

_EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK! EVERYWHERE THERE'S A HEART (THERE'S A HEART)! A HAND TO HOLD ON TO! BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH…_

"What? I didn't do anything!" Brenna shrieked.

"Ex-ACT-ly!" Ayame yelled, flinging spit everywhere. "YOU HAVEN'T UPDATED AS MUCH AS YOU SHOULD HAVE, AND YOU HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS STORY SINCE 11-28-06!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I just… my band practice… and school… and…"

"EXCUSES EXCUSES!" Ayame yelled.

"I swear, I'll update! Just… just give me another chance!"

KORN ALERT!

Kyo sighed a big huffy sigh. "Fine," he THURSDAY ALERT sighed. "If you don't update by Valentine's Day, we're going to kill you."

"Okay! Okay! **I have a one-shot that I'm posting on the 13th and I'm about to post this Silly Bus Adventure!**" Brenna spoiled the Valentine's Day surprise like a Valentine's Day surprise spoiling emo kid.

"Good," Rin rubbed her hands together like an evil villain. "You may go."

The three weird Fruits Basket things evanesced and Brenna was left in a garbage can in the middle of the nasty creek that smells like strawberry cream cheese and dead raccoons.

"HEY BRENNA!" Joe hollered as he rode past on the back of Jake Taylor: The Magical Kindergarten-Failing Boy's dad's pick up truck as Brenna hiked out of the creek. "¡HAY RELÁMPAGOS!"

Brenna frowned and finished the walk home covered in garbage.

AFI ALERT.

* * *

**Yeah, that didn't really make sense. It was more like my apology for not updating this story in so long.**

**Episode Twenty-One: I STILL DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I STILL HAVEN'T WRITTEN IT**

**Anyone got any ideas for episodes? I prolly won't update until I'm inspired again. Which will prolly be a while. **

**SOWWEE. **

**ME LLAMO SHUABE!**

**RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS ALERT.**

**I wonder how long I have to pretend like I'm obsessed with that band before Joe finally burns me the CD...**


	21. The Animal Crackers

**AT LAST THIS WILL UPLOAD. THANK AKITO. THIS HAS BEEN THE WORST DAY EVER. I HATE SCHOOL. BURNNNN, SCHOOL. BURNNNN. PLEASE.**

**I dedicate this one to Dustin, who gave me 4 pounds of animal crackers for my birthday. Those animal crackers gave me this idea. **

_I expect an update soon or else Tohru will come about and make babies with your dog._

**WTF?

* * *

**

**Episode Twenty-One: The Animal Crackers**

"Hey Yuki!" Momiji yelled quietly as he bustled into the room with **HATSY** and Kagura!. Just kidding. Kagura! wasn't there.

Kagura! At the Disco!

"What," Yuki mumbled as Momiji sat down next to him. Yuki tried not to move because he and Kyo were in a 'who can go the longest without standing up' contest and he was TOTALLY winning. LYKE OMGGGGG!

LOLZZZ!

"Look what we brought!" Momiji hollered into Yuki's zitty ear, shoving a plastic bear at Yuki. It was plastic. It had a red cap and stickers for eyes and noses. I was low fat and it's net wt was 64 oz, AKA 4 lb, AKA 1814 g. Also, it was carrying a ramune bottle! Just kidding. **HATSY** was actually carrying the ramune bottle. It, and Juste, were $3.22.

"'For even more delicious this drink chill before drinking,'" **HATSY** read. That's what the bottle said. Seriously. COWS DON'T LIE!

Yuki moved his head slightly to look at the BEAR! It was filled with cotton balls.

_In Spanglish: It was filled with animal crackers_

"Cool. See you later," Yuki said like a soccer coach.

"Wanna eat some?" Momi asked.

"HECK YES," Kyo hollered, standing up and therefore losing the contest. Yuki celebrated quietly. Even though Momi had asked YUKI, not SELFISH KYO!

"'Do not allow small children to open the bottle. Adults should open the bottle for small children,'" **HATSY** mooed. Everyone glared at him, but it was TRUE. Sheesh.

Yuki got the first pick since his name was first in the number line. He picked a… POLAR BEAR. He slipped it into his pocket to add to his polar bear collection the next day.

"Next was Kyo, because he's a loser." Kyo picked up a cracker, glaring at Kagura! At the Disco for the unnecessary commentary. He picked a… BUFFALO!

"Look **HATSY**, it's you!1" he cried tears of plasma.

"No it's not. I'm a cow," **HATSY** responded MOOdily, sick of quoting the ramune bottle. MMM STRAWBERRY. I LOVE STRAWBERRY.

"Look! I got a horse!" Momiji cheered! **HATSY** abruptly took it from the lad before pulling one of the cows from the plastic bear's head and placing them in suggestive positions.

"Well, that was a waste of FIVE HOURS," Kyo huffed huffily like he had asthma.

"Look! I got a cat!" Momi cheered! He was about to eat it before Kyo was all like "NO!O!O1O1OO1O1O!O11!O1!OOOOOO!OOOO!!1OOOOOOO!1O!O!O1O1OO1O1O!O11!O1!OOOOOO!OOOO!!1OOOOOOO!1!O!O1O1OO1O1O!O11!O1!OOOOOO!OOOO!!1OOOOOOO!1!O!O1O1OO1O1O!O11!O1!OOOOOO!OOOO!!1OOOOOOO!1!O!O1O1OO1O1O!O11!O1!OOOOOO!OOOO!!1OOOOOOO!1!O!O1O1OO1O1O!O11!O1!OOOOOO!OOOO!!1OOOOOOO!1" and snatched it from the kid.

"Is there a rat?" Yuki asked like the world would end if there was a cat but no rat in the cotton ball-filled plastic bear.

"Nope. You can be this rhinoceros though," Momiji shrugged. He had already assigned himself camel cracker and Kureno bullfrog cracker.

"I'll stick with polar bear," Yuki sighed, adding 'polar bear in the zodiac' to his list of things he dearly wished.

"OH NO," Kagura! At the Disco gasped ALLUVUSUDDUN.

"What?" Gure-Gure asked, appearing out of stink air.

"SERVING SIZE 16 CRACKERS (30 g/1.1 lb)!" Kagura! At the Disco gasped ALLUVUSUDDUN.

"We've eaten… 8," Momi counted.

BADLY.

CHUCKLE CHUCKLE.

"Well, I ate 13 on the way here," **HATSY** explained, making the horse and ox crackers a house out of Kyo's plentiful back hair.

"OH NOEZZZ!" Yuki screamed uncharacteristically. "MAMA WE ALL GOIN' DOWN!"

Then they all got pies shoved up their… SHOES.

Don't worry, they'll be fine. Someday.

SOMEDAY SOMEHOW WE GONNA MAKE IT ALRIGHT BUT NOT RIGHT NOW I KNOW YOU'RE WONDERING WHENNNNN.

* * *

**LE GASP.**

**Stay tuned forrrr:**

**Episode Twenty-Two: The Juicer**

**MAYBE!**

**I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IT YET!**


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